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Your friend has decided to switch careers, but isn’t sure which to choose. What advice would you give them? Provide reasons and examples to support your response. v.2

Your friend has decided to switch careers, but isn’t sure which to choose. What advice would you give them? Provide reasons and examples to support your response. v. 2
There is no doubt that these days almost every adult is having a car and this is affecting the traffic and the environment, however, the question: Do governments have to take any action to stop people getting cars? Is being a controversial issue nowadays, while I tend to believe that societies should encourage the use of public transport and make it applicable to everyone. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that no one can stop individuals from buying cars because it is a requirement to achieve all your work easily and rapidly. Furthermore, these people argue that government is not being attention to the importance of the public transport and it needs various improvements in order to make it suitable for their daily usage. One good example here is the number of cars in Kuwait which increases hugely during the past 30 years. In addition, street's infrastructure did not develop for a long time. Although, each family is buying cars for each member, they believe that government is not doing anything towards improving streets and public transportation. On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. Governments should be strict in allowing people to buy cars, for example, each family must have one car only and if they will buy one more car, its price should be tripled and a penalty applied. Moreover, public transport has to be more effective and active and each human has to be encouraged to use it. One good illustration here is the United States. In the huge states, parking lots are expensive, so individuals have to use the public transport. In conclusion, as we have seen there is no easy answer to this question, while, I guess all governments can force citizens to reduce the number of cars if they can provide better options and alternatives.
There is no doubt that these days almost every adult is having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and this is affecting the traffic and the environment,
however
, the question: Do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take any action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
? Is being a controversial issue nowadays, while I tend to believe that societies should encourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it applicable to everyone. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints.

On one side of the argument, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
individuals from buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a requirement to achieve all your work
easily
and
rapidly
.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not being attention to the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport and it needs various improvements in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it suitable for their daily usage. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in Kuwait which increases
hugely
during the past 30 years.
In addition
, street's infrastructure did not develop for a long time. Although, each family is buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for each member, they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not doing anything towards improving streets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it with the opposing case.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should be strict in allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
for example
, each family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and if they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, its price should
be tripled
and a penalty applied.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be more effective and active and each human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration here is the United States. In the huge states, parking lots are expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport.

In conclusion
, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there is no easy answer to this question, while, I guess all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can force citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
if they can provide better options and alternatives.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Your friend has decided to switch careers, but isn’t sure which to choose. What advice would you give them? Provide reasons and examples to support your response. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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