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4)A possession is an object that you own. If you were asked to choose onepossession that you prize highly, which on would you choose? Why? What makesthis possession especially valuable to you? v.1

4)A possession is an object that you own. If you were asked to choose onepossession that you prize highly, which on would you choose? Why? What makesthis possession especially valuable to you? v. 1
With growing population size, there is an increasing utilization of land for human use in the form of cultivation, housing and the factories, but at the expense of the natural habitat of the animals. One opinion is in favour of priority to the human beings, while others think that the land to be saved for survival of animal species that are on the verge of extinction. I think a balanced approach is required to cater for both the important issues. The progression in the construction is leading to the elimination of forests and water pools, such that, the environment is becoming difficult for the survival of the fauna. For example, the Panda is about to disappear from the globe, as a result of man made encroachments. Many other animals have already vanished from the earth. Such a trend has negative implications for the ecosystems, which, consequently will produce unfavourable outcomes for the human beings, as they are dependent on the ecosystems for their survival. However, this aspect can be managed by effective planning and moulding the human requirements and specifying the areas for animals. Thus, a co-existence of both the needs looks a possibility. The mankind requirements are also on the rise due to increase in population size and awareness about new lifestyles. Moreover, there are enhanced expansion of factories and businesses. These all are now the essential elements of today's living. For instance, more and more residential units are the necessities and the same is the case with the production units. Furthermore, land utilization for making large farm houses is getting trend and it is a luxurious pattern. This means many of the recent uses are important. However, luxuries should be curtailed in favour of land safety for other living beings. In conclusion, the land use for residential purposes and progression is justified, but there is a need of curb on utilization for extra comfort at the expense of animal life.
With growing population size, there is an increasing utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the form of cultivation, housing and the factories,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the expense of the natural habitat of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. One opinion is in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of priority to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
to
be saved
for survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species that are on the verge of extinction. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a balanced approach
is required
to cater for both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues.

The progression in the construction is leading to the elimination of forests and water pools, such that, the environment is becoming difficult for the survival of the fauna.
For example
, the Panda is about to disappear from the globe,
as a result
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made encroachments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have already vanished from the earth. Such a trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications for the ecosystems, which,
consequently
will produce
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
outcomes for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, as they are dependent on the ecosystems for their survival.
However
, this aspect can
be managed
by effective planning and
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
requirements and specifying the areas for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Thus
, a co-existence of both the needs looks a possibility.

The mankind requirements are
also
on the rise due to increase in population size and awareness about new lifestyles.
Moreover
, there
are enhanced
expansion of factories and businesses. These all are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the essential elements of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's living.
For instance
, more and more residential units are the necessities and the same is the case with the production units.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
utilization for making large farm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
is getting trend and it is a luxurious pattern. This means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
, luxuries should
be curtailed
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
safety for other living beings.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for residential purposes and progression
is justified
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a need of curb on utilization for extra comfort at the expense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay 4)A possession is an object that you own. If you were asked to choose onepossession that you prize highly, which on would you choose? Why? What makesthis possession especially valuable to you? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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