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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All studentsshould be required to study art and music in secondary school. Usespecific reasons to support your answer v.363

All studentsshould be required to study art and music in secondary school. Usespecific reasons to support your answer v. 363
By the advent of the internet, distance education has become very popular and many universities now offer different courses through it. Although, there are many advantages of learning at one's own place, there are some disadvantages for learners as well. I think the pros outweigh the cons and in this essay, I will discuss about it in details. Distance education has made life of students comfortable and they can easily sit in their own comfort zone and study according to the convenience. Those who are working full time can reap dividends from it, as well as, homemakers, single mothers, and also, those who cannot afford the expense of living in cities and study. For example, those who are busy during daytime, when most of the colleges function, can easily spare time during the evening and night to learn. By studying even through a computer at home can help them to achieve their dreams. However, there are others who think distant learning is not appropriate for some students. It is quite true to some extent, a student who needs practical training cannot get benefits from these types of learning. For instance, medical students need intensive training to achieve skills to practice, they can only learn theories if they are good at group studies, lectures, practical knowledge and demonstrations. But, I think these types of education can be beneficial even for medical students while studying in a regular college and want to learn more about their course from a prestigious university, which offers distance classes. To conclude, even though there are some drawbacks, but when compared to the benefits, learning from a distance is a boon to many individuals who are willing of acquiring qualifications in their free time and unable to attend a university.
By the advent of the internet, distance education has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
courses through it. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for learners
as well
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the pros outweigh the cons and in this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about it
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Distance education has made life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
comfortable and
they can
easily
sit in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
comfort zone and study according to the convenience. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working full time can reap dividends from it,
as well
as, homemakers, single mothers, and
also
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot afford the expense of living in cities and study.
For example
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are busy during daytime, when most of the colleges function, can
easily
spare time during the evening and night to learn. By studying even through a computer at home can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve their dreams.

However
, there are others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is not appropriate for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It is quite true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
needs practical training cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits from these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
For instance
, medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need intensive training to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to practice, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn theories if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at group studies, lectures, practical knowledge and demonstrations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these types of education can be beneficial even for medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
while studying in a regular college and want to learn more about their course from a prestigious university, which offers distance classes.

To conclude
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when compared to the benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from a distance is a boon to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are willing of acquiring qualifications in their free time and unable to attend a university.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay All studentsshould be required to study art and music in secondary school. Usespecific reasons to support your answer v. 363

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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