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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? traveling to foreign countries is better than traveling in their own country. v.356

traveling to foreign countries is better than traveling in their own country. v. 356
In numerous countries across the world, the crime is increasing and the its nature is becoming more violent. In this essay, I will try to figure out the potential reasons of these activities and also the measures that can be taken to fight or at least reduce such incidents. Emphatically speaking, it is true that the crime rate has gone up, along with the severity and violence level in recent years. There are many cases reported on theft, snatching, rape, murders to name a few. There could be several causes for this and I believe the main reason is the arbitrary hike in the inflation rate, specifically in the developing countries. Other reasons behind this could be a high illiteracy ratio, poverty, low self-esteem, alcohol and drug abuse or even the circumstances in which a person is born and brought up. In order to reduce this, first the government has to step up and introduce new employment policies for people in all households falling under low income group or even lower middle class group for that matter. Government should facilitate Educational services at no cost to such population without any compromise on the quality in order to bring up the literacy ratio. There is also an alarming requirement of NGO's and re-habilitation centres for the needful ones. The law should also set harsh punishments against criminals who commit such brutal misconducts and set an example once and for all. The people must be feared of the consequences before having such a dreadful thought. To conclude, the actions mentioned above could help us reduce the crime rate up to an unbelievable extent and help us and our people live a safe and healthy life.
In numerous countries across the world, the crime is increasing and
the its nature
is becoming more violent. In this essay, I will try to figure out the potential reasons of these activities and
also
the measures that can
be taken
to fight or at least
reduce
such incidents.

Emphatically
speaking, it is true that the crime rate has gone up, along with the severity and violence level in recent years. There are
many
cases reported on theft, snatching, rape, murders to name a few. There could be several causes for this and I believe the main reason is the arbitrary hike in the inflation rate,
specifically
in the
developing countries
. Other reasons behind this could be a high illiteracy ratio, poverty, low self-esteem, alcohol and drug abuse or even the circumstances in which a person
is born
and brought up.

In order to
reduce
this,
first
the
government
has to
step up and introduce new employment policies for
people
in all households falling under low income group or even lower middle
class
group for that matter.
Government
should facilitate Educational services at no cost to such population without any compromise on the quality in order to bring up the literacy ratio. There is
also
an alarming requirement of NGO's and
re-habilitation
centres
for the needful ones. The law should
also
set harsh punishments against criminals who commit such brutal misconducts and set an example once and for all. The
people
must
be feared
of the consequences
before
having such a dreadful
thought
.

To conclude
, the actions mentioned above could
help
us
reduce
the crime rate up to an unbelievable extent and
help
us and our
people
live
a safe and healthy life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay traveling to foreign countries is better than traveling in their own country. v. 356

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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