Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 6 - Using points from the lecture, explain why researchers think that babies may feel empathy. - Preparation Time: 20 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v.1

TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 6 - Using points from the lecture, explain why researchers think that babies may feel empathy. - Preparation Time: 20 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v. 1
There is an opinion asserts that increasing imprisonment years is the most workable solution to shrink the crime rate. While I think punishing criminals is indispensable I believe that the more vital issue is to find the causes and eradicate them. On the one hand, implementing severe sentences would be beneficial for both society and criminals. Due to the fact that tough punishments such as mentioned one could act as a deterrent, less people would be inclined to turn to crime and the general public would live in a safer society. Furthermore, the more a criminal stay in prison, the less would be the number of criminal activities committed by this person. Thus, not only does the government have better control over the society, but also the prisoners have more time to become rehabilitated. As an example, they might learn new skills, which could be useful for their freedom period. However, in my view, despite the importance of punishments, if the government does not pay attention to the origins of illegal activities, poverty for instance, such solutions will be ineffective gradually and will not remedy the situation properly. Since there is a causal relationship between offenses and financial issues, one of the most influential ways would be creating various well-paid job opportunities. In this way, individuals who commit crimes in order to meet their needs and afford the cost of living will not abound. Another factor in this regard is poor education. When some members of the public are deprived of decent education and proper schooling, they do not know the difference between vice and virtue; hence, they are more likely to become offenders. In conclusion, there are various ways that crime could be tackled through including strict punishments and alleviation causes. From my point of view, the latter factor is pivotal and should take priority over the former one.
There is an opinion asserts that increasing imprisonment years is the most
workable
solution to shrink the
crime
rate. While I
think
punishing
criminals
is indispensable I believe that the more vital issue is to find the causes and eradicate them.

On the one hand, implementing severe sentences would be beneficial for both society and
criminals
. Due to the fact that tough punishments such as mentioned one could act as a deterrent,
less
people
would
be inclined
to turn to
crime
and the
general public
would
live
in a safer society.
Furthermore
, the more a
criminal
stay in prison, the less would be the number of
criminal
activities committed by this person.
Thus
, not
only
does the
government
have better control over the society,
but
also
the prisoners have more time to become rehabilitated. As an example, they might learn new
skills
, which could be useful for their freedom period.

However
, in my view, despite the importance of punishments, if the
government
does not pay attention to the origins of illegal activities, poverty
for instance
, such solutions will be ineffective
gradually
and will not remedy the situation
properly
. Since there is a causal relationship between offenses and financial issues, one of the most influential ways would be creating various well-paid job opportunities. In this way, individuals who commit
crimes
in order to
meet
their needs and afford the cost of living will not abound. Another factor in this regard is poor education. When
some
members of the public
are deprived
of decent education and proper schooling, they do not know the difference between vice and virtue;
hence
, they are more likely to become offenders.

In conclusion
, there are various ways that
crime
could
be tackled
through including strict punishments and alleviation causes. From my point of view, the latter factor is pivotal and should take priority over the former one.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 6 - Using points from the lecture, explain why researchers think that babies may feel empathy. - Preparation Time: 20 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts