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q2 Some students tend to live alone while others may want to share their rooms with their roommates Which way of living do you think is better for students and why v.1

q2 Some students tend to live alone while others may want to share their rooms with their roommates Which way of living do you think is better for students and why v. 1
Several individuals believe that it is crucial keeping workplace and home neat and put everything in the right place. I personally believe that this matter has various advantages for each person such as more productivity specially in their workplaces. It is undeniable that, having a well-organized workplace is important for everyone, because produces many benefits for people. This is because people in the orderly atmosphere can focus more on their duties. Moreover, Recent research shows that, those people who kept their offices well-ordered, they have more effectiveness in the feedback of their tasks. For instance, those workers who work in the financial segment, they must keep their tables tidy because sometimes they need to check some invoices as well as tax papers very fast and provide it to their managers. Therefore, neat places aid employees become more beneficial at their workspace. In addition, ordered place leads people to reduce wasting time at both home and work. Furthermore, sometimes people need to leave their homes quickly in order to reach work and if they do not put their essential stuff such as clothes, bag and wallet in the correct place, they have to spend too much time in order to find them. Also, keeping home tidy help people to reduce their stresses, which results in more serene mind for them. In conclusion, I affirm my opinion that tidy and organized places are best for everyone because leads them to more productivity as well as results in more peaceful minds at their homes.
Several individuals believe that it is crucial keeping workplace and home neat and put everything in the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. I
personally
believe that this matter has various advantages for each person such as more productivity
specially
in their workplaces.

It is undeniable that, having a well-organized workplace is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the orderly atmosphere can focus more on their duties.
Moreover
, Recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
their offices well-ordered, they have more effectiveness in the feedback of their tasks.
For instance
, those workers who work in the financial segment, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their tables tidy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
invoices
as well
as tax papers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and provide it to their managers.
Therefore
, neat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
aid employees become more beneficial at their workspace.

In addition
, ordered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
wasting time at both home and work.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
quickly
in order to reach work and if they do not put their essential stuff such as clothes, bag and wallet in the correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend too much time in order to find them.
Also
, keeping home tidy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
, which results in more serene mind for them.

In conclusion
, I affirm my opinion that tidy and organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are best for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
leads them to more productivity
as well
as results in more peaceful minds at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q2 Some students tend to live alone while others may want to share their rooms with their roommates Which way of living do you think is better for students and why v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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