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The charts show information about the number ofKilometres travelled in an average month and in the distribution of vehicle types in Britain v.1

The charts show information about the number ofKilometres travelled in an average month and in the distribution of vehicle types in Britain v. 1
More and more people prefer to purchase items from the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries. While this offers few disadvantages, there are also some advantages that are worth considering. And I believe that there are more advantages to online shopping. There are two main drawbacks to online shopping. Firstly, online grocery shopping does not always guarantee us with the freshness of the perishable items. For example, there are many times the fruits that I purchase online arrived with few rotten pieces of fruits, due to unknown delivery condition. And also, for fashion items, many of my friends were experiencing disappointment as a result from inaccurate information given by the company on their website. This is because the buyer could not feel the material themselves and try the suitable size for them. On the other hand, there are a lot of platforms who could enable us to get extra discount or cash back from the online shopping. Through these affiliate programs, customer could get a better deal compare to the purchase from the brick and mortal shop. On top of that, many providers are offering free delivery services to their client, which is convenient for buying especially bulky items. Moreover, when a loyal customer is giving referral of their friends, they could get an extra credit for their next order. In conclusion, there are few negative side of buying things online, such as, poor-quality control and inaccurate information. However, it offers positive points, for instance, more affordable, free delivery, and loyalty points. Therefore, the advantage outweighs the disadvantage.
More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
from the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries. While
Did you mean "these"?
this
offers few disadvantages, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages that are worth considering. And I believe that there are more advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping.

There are two main drawbacks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
grocery shopping does not always guarantee us with the freshness of the perishable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times the fruits that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
arrived with few rotten pieces of fruits, due to unknown delivery condition. And
also
, for fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my friends were experiencing disappointment
as a result
from inaccurate information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
on their website. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the buyer could not feel the material themselves and try the suitable size for them.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
platforms who could enable us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extra discount or cash back from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping. Through these affiliate programs, customer could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better deal compare to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from the brick and mortal shop.
On top of that
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
providers are offering free delivery services to their client, which is convenient for buying
especially
bulky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
Moreover
, when a loyal customer is giving referral of their friends, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an extra credit for their
next
order.

In conclusion
, there are few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of buying things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, such as, poor-quality control and inaccurate information.
However
, it offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points,
for instance
, more affordable, free delivery, and loyalty points.
Therefore
, the advantage outweighs the disadvantage.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts show information about the number ofKilometres travelled in an average month and in the distribution of vehicle types in Britain v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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