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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. v.341

It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. v. 341
Success is a very subjective term. It is very difficult to define a successful life. All too often we equate a successful life with material possessions. Yet, there are millions of people out there who lead successful, fulfilled lives and are not financially sound. They may not be rich in the financial sense, but they are rich in life and values. Therefore, I partially agree with the statement that university education is not necessary for success in today's time. Undoubtedly, a university education is essential if you want to have a career in a profession such as law, engineering, teaching, or medicine. What is more, it opens more doors than you would have if you didn't get one. A university education is a great platform in learning more and gaining valuable knowledge in the field we are passionate about. Also, the university is a great place to network for friends and business associates or partners. So, definitely, in this respect, university education can help you get success. However, there are other type of people who make it big without going to the college. For instance, those who start their own business. These people took risks pursued a dream. And, for them, it is a very profitable decision. Take an example, Michael Dell, The founder and CEO of Dell who dropped out of college in 19, he first started his computer company in his college dorm room, later using company's earnings and family loans to expand. Henry Ford never graduated high school, but went on to start one of the largest automobile manufacturing companies in the world, Ford Motor Company. Furthermore, in today's scenario, people with some talent, for example, in the entertainment or sports field can achieve and fame very soon. The reality shows have made it possible for a girl or boy next door with some talent to achieve success overnight. Finally, a university education does not generally enable you to achieve successful relationships with family and friends. To conclude, it can be said that the attributes needed to become successful in today's world will not necessarily depend on the university degree. However, in some situations such as professional courses, it is needed to get success.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
subjective term. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to define a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
life. All too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
we equate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
life with material possessions.
Yet
, there are millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
out there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
, fulfilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and are not
financially
sound. They may not be rich in the financial sense,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are rich in life and values.
Therefore
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time.

Undoubtedly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential if you want to have a career in a profession such as law, engineering, teaching, or medicine.
What is more
, it opens more doors than you would have if you didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a great platform in learning more and gaining valuable knowledge in the field we are passionate about.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a great place to network for friends and business associates or partners.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, definitely, in this respect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success.

However
, there are other type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
without going to the college.
For instance
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
took
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
pursued a dream. And, for them, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
profitable decision. Take an example, Michael Dell, The founder and CEO of Dell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
dropped out of college in 19, he
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in his college dorm room, later using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's earnings and family loans to expand. Henry Ford never
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduated from".
graduated
high school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
went on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
one of the largest automobile manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in the world, Ford Motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
.

Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's scenario,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talent,
for example
, in the entertainment or sports field can achieve and fame
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. The reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
have made it possible for a girl or boy
next
door with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talent to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
overnight.
Finally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
does not
generally
enable you to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
relationships with family and friends.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that the attributes needed to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world will not
necessarily
depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations such as professional courses, it
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. v. 341

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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