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124)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

124) It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
The learning of past events and literature by scholars is as crucial as gaining knowledge about science and arithmetic. In my opinion, studying history and literature helps to understand the evolution of ideas and their practical consequences. Simultaneously, it helps to understand human beings and how they coped with the situation of that time and be proud of the marvel of human genius. First of all, gaining insights in history and literature helps in understanding the past, culture, language, traditions, and ideology. Every era has posed various challenges and it was up to the people to cope up with them and develop solutions. By studying those issues and measures, helps the present generation to fully understand the current scenario. The wisdom from the past should be learned and implemented. In addition to it, the blunders should be totally avoided. For instance, understanding the reasons for World War I, II can help the present generations to act prudently and avoid any conflicts that can lead to armed conflict and bloodshed. Secondly, to understand the importance of studying literature has been portrayed by Leo Tolstoy, who firmly believed that reading literature revolves around two central issues: Who are we and how shall we live. The brilliant works of William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Helen Keller, T. S Elliot, Rabindranath Tagore, and Loa-Tzu has always inspired and helped us understand our identities and purpose of this life. Lastly, history and literature have always portrayed, the works of human genius. Right from Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro civilization, the pyramids of Egypt, the Taj-Mahal in India, the architecture of Romans, the British engineering are the standing examples of human accomplishment. In conclusion, I think that that history and literature should be made mandatory in schools so that children can have a strong foundation. After that students should be free to choose any subject according to their choice.
The learning of past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
by scholars is as crucial as gaining knowledge about science and arithmetic. In my opinion, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the evolution of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and their practical consequences.
Simultaneously
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings and how they coped with the situation of that time and be proud of the marvel of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
genius.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, gaining insights in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in understanding the past, culture, language, traditions, and ideology. Every era has posed various challenges and it was up to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to cope up with them and develop solutions. By studying those issues and measures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the present generation to
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario. The wisdom from the past should
be learned
and implemented.
In addition
to it, the blunders should be
totally
avoided.
For instance
, understanding the reasons for World War I, II can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the present generations to act
prudently
and avoid any conflicts that can lead to armed conflict and bloodshed.

Secondly
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the importance of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
has
been portrayed
by Leo Tolstoy, who
firmly
believed that reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
revolves around two central issues: Who are we and how shall we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. The brilliant works of William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Helen Keller, T. S Elliot,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rabindranath
Tagore, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Loa-Tzu
has always inspired and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
our identities and purpose of this life.

Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
have always portrayed, the works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
genius. Right from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harappa
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohenjo-Daro
civilization, the pyramids of Egypt, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Taj-Mahal
in India, the architecture of Romans, the British engineering are the standing examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
accomplishment.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
should
be made
mandatory in schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that children can have a strong foundation.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that students should be free to choose any subject according to their choice.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 124) It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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