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Do you agree with the following statement? Grandparents cannot give useful advice to their grandchildren because the world of today and the world of 50 years are too different. v.8

Grandparents cannot give useful advice to their grandchildren because the world of today and the world of 50 years are too different. v. 8
The statement claims that grandparents are not able to provide their grandchildren with useful advice due to the difference between the past and the present. However, as far as I am concerned, the difference doesn' t necessarily hinder the recognition of our parents and grandparents can indeed offer useful advice to grandchildren. First and foremost, individual' s life is not perfectly functioning like a machine, from setup and retirement. Actually, everyone including our grandparents manages to keep breast with the trend and keeps learning in stead of following the destiny passively. Therefore, the difference between the life fifty years ago and the current will not inhibit the motivation of progress. For instance, many scientists win the Nobel Prize at an old age, which means time is not able to retire people. In addition, ordinary old people are still trying their best to learn new technologies and understand the world of youngsters. Moreover, even though time can fade the muscles and flexibility, our grandparents are still equipped with precious experiences that can still contribute to the current world and their grandchildren. For example, our grandparents used to use calculus to assist the calculation and to day we use mobile calculator. The device has changes with increasing complex of the forthcoming problems. However, the theories behind the process of the calculation and the way to analyze the problems remain the same because the technology development in the past decades only serves to accelerate our production and intensify the scale of problems. So we can still learn from our grandparents, such as the analysis process and the philosophy. Last but not the least, asking advice from grandparents also provides the chance to improve the family relationships. When grandparents retire, the least thing they want to feel is the isolation from the society and family. However, if grandparents can ask grandparents for advice on issues such as social relationships, international news or even the career preparation, grandparents will feel less lonely and acquire the sense of being needed. In this way, grandchildren can help their grandparents acquaint the society again. In conclusion, time doesn' t necessarily stop grandparents learning the modern trend and their precious experience can still contribute to the next generations. What' s more, grandparents can benefit from offering advice, which give them the sense of being needed.
The statement claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
are not able to provide their grandchildren with useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
due to the difference between the past and the present.
However
, as far as I
am concerned
, the difference
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t
necessarily
hinder the recognition of our parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can
indeed
offer useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
to grandchildren.

First
and foremost,
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s life is not
perfectly
functioning like a machine, from setup and retirement. Actually, everyone including our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
manages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
breast with the trend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
learning
Did you mean "instead of"?
in stead of
following the destiny
passively
.
Therefore
, the difference between the life fifty years ago and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
will not inhibit the motivation of progress.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists win the Nobel Prize at an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age, which means time is not able to retire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, ordinary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
trying their best to learn new technologies and understand the world of youngsters.

Moreover
,
even though
time can fade the muscles and flexibility, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
are
still
equipped with precious experiences that can
still
contribute to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world and their grandchildren.
For example
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
calculus to assist the calculation and to day we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile calculator. The device has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with increasing complex of the forthcoming problems.
However
, the theories behind the process of the calculation and the way to analyze the problems remain the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the technology development in the past decades
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serves to accelerate our production and intensify the scale of problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we can
still
learn from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
, such as the analysis process and the philosophy.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, asking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
also
provides the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the family relationships. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
retire, the least thing they want to feel is the isolation from the society and family.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
on issues such as social relationships, international news or even the career preparation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
will feel less lonely and acquire the sense of
being needed
. In this way, grandchildren can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
acquaint the society again.

In conclusion
, time
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t
necessarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
learning the modern trend and their precious experience can
still
contribute to the
next
generations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
What&
#039; s more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can benefit from offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
, which give them the sense of
being needed
.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Grandparents cannot give useful advice to their grandchildren because the world of today and the world of 50 years are too different. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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