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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Laptop is the first thing that they should have to help their learning process. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v.736

Laptop is the first thing that they should have to help their learning process. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v. 736
The primary thing which everybody is supposed to have to assist their learning process is laptop. In accordance with this argument, this essay will explain the point of view of this issue and also put forward my perspective in the following paragraphs. To begin with, I do appreciate to the assumption which considered that laptop is absolutely pivotal for everyone for aiding individuals to learn about something. According to my perspective, I personally agree to this statement in which the presence of this temporary technology is able to help people obtaining more positive things. Nevertheless, the persons who believed it, moreover, have to think that this tool is not the merely aspect which is capable of aiding individuals to study, due to the fact that nowadays, there is a mobile phone which is additionally confer the similar outcome as laptop. Regarding the perspective above, I tend to consider that the existence of mobile phone is going to replace the position of laptop. There are several contributing factors of it. It, first and foremost, is caused by the weight of mobile phone which is lighter instead of laptop, therefore, all individuals used it more frequently rather than laptop. Second but not less crucial, the price of mobile phone is usually lower instead of laptop which is in the end, it will influence the decreasing number of laptop utilisation. By way of conclusion, it seems to me that combining the use of these two modern technologies is the effective way to acquire more benefits to all people. Thus, in order to make it happen, the authority of every nation is supposed to inform this information to their citizen.
The primary thing which everybody
is supposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
assist their learning process is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
. In accordance with this argument, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the point of view of this issue and
also
put forward my perspective in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I do appreciate to the assumption which considered that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
is
absolutely
pivotal for everyone for aiding individuals to learn about something. According to my perspective, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement in which the presence of this temporary technology is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
obtaining more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things.
Nevertheless
, the persons who believed it,
moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this tool is not the
merely
aspect which is capable of aiding individuals to study, due to the fact that nowadays, there is a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
which is
additionally
confer the similar outcome as laptop.

Regarding the perspective above, I tend to consider that the existence of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is going to replace the position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
. There are several contributing factors of it. It,
first
and foremost,
is caused
by the weight of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
which is lighter
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
,
therefore
, all individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it more
frequently
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
. Second
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not less crucial, the price of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
usually
lower
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
which is in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it will influence the decreasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
.

By way of conclusion, it seems to me that combining the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these two modern technologies is the effective way to acquire more benefits to all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thus
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it happen, the authority of every nation
is supposed
to inform this information to their citizen.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Laptop is the first thing that they should have to help their learning process. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v. 736

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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