There are lots of poor countries all around the world who need help in order to solve the poverty. However, financial aid seems to be not so useful. I totally agree with the statement that developed country should find another way to support them.
First of all, I believe that money just can’t resolve any problem. Even though it seems very generous to give financial help to pored countries, it is not. Actually, these money should be given back until a certain period of time. All of this makes the progress harder and slower. For example, one of the European countries - Greece, has been in a long crisis because of the money it owes.
Secondly, effective methods have a great impact on solving economical problems. In other words, countries should create a plan involving practical ways of removing the poverty without so huge amount of money. In that way, they would be able to do it in the best possible way. Thus, the developed countries have unique methods by which they have succeeded so I think that is the thing they should show to the poorer country.
To conclude, even developed countries had their problems at some point. They shouldn’t just give financial help - what they should do is to reveal their secrets for achieving success. Only in that way many countries would stop struggling with the poverty. Because our target is to help them, not to give them more and more loans which they would have to pay.
There are lots of poor
countries
all around the world who need
help
in order to solve the poverty.
However
, financial aid seems to be not
so
useful. I
totally
agree
with the statement that developed
country
should find another way to support them.
First of all
, I believe that
money
just
can’t resolve any problem.
Even though
it seems
very
generous to give financial
help
to pored
countries
, it is not. Actually, these
money
should be
given
back until a certain period of time. All of this
makes
the progress harder and slower.
For example
, one of the European
countries
-
Greece, has been in a long crisis
because
of the
money
it owes.
Secondly
, effective methods have a great impact on solving
economical
problems.
In other words
,
countries
should create a plan involving practical ways of removing the poverty without
so
huge amount of
money
. In that way, they would be able to do it in the best possible way.
Thus
, the developed
countries
have unique methods by which they have succeeded
so
I
think
that is
the thing they should
show
to the poorer country.
To conclude
, even developed
countries
had their problems at
some
point. They shouldn’t
just
give financial
help
-
what they should do is to reveal their secrets for achieving success.
Only
in that way
many
countries
would
stop
struggling with the poverty.
Because
our target is to
help
them, not to give them more and more loans which they would
have to
pay.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes