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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation. v.259

A job with more vacation time but low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation. v. 259
Better technology is helping the society to cope up with the crime rate and, in fact, is further provided a solution to lessen the one. If we look at the past, we will find that people from the past were less involved in any kind of crime, whether its related to technology or humans as the victims, and it started increasing as the new technology is developing. So, we can say that technology no doubt is helping the world with solving crime, issue by identifying and controlling the same, but is also one of the reasons of its occurrence. I totally agree with the statement, that technology is decreasing crime rate, but on the other hand, concerned about its ill effects also and hence, this essay is going to explain the problem in detail by balancing the role of technology in aggravating and alleviating crime. Firstly, let's discuss how in past times, crime rate used to be. Well, when people were not aware of the technology, they used to live a simple and crime free life and the range of criminal activities were limited. Todays, one of the major reasons for concern are web related activities, where our youth is the most victimised and that all happened with the social media which is creating a kind of fake digital world for them. Secondly, criminals have always tried to put their step forward to have a breakthrough in any kind of technology related security. For instance, crimes related to unauthorised transactions taking place through debit or credit cards by asking CVV or pin, and then following such transactions are one such case. Although, technology in most of the times, helped the mankind to provide a solution for the problem. For example, CCTV cameras are available today to identify the criminal and proved to be one of the most effective means of security. Other various means like biometric used for entrance in high alert areas, high security passwords for debit and credit cards, and in fact developing these cards is also a milestone in the history of financial and money related matters. Therefore, we can say technology is truly helping a society as a whole. In conclusion, I would say that technology is no doubt helping us in controlling the crime rate but is also the reason for its occurrence and with proper monitoring we can benefit ourselves better.
Better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is helping the society to cope up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and, in fact, is
further
provided a solution to lessen the one. If we look at the past, we will find that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the past were less involved in any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, whether
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
or humans as the victims, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
increasing as the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is developing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
no doubt is helping the world with solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, issue by identifying and controlling the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
one of the reasons of its occurrence. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
, concerned about its ill effects
also
and
hence
, this essay is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the problem in detail by balancing the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in aggravating and alleviating crime.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's discuss how in past times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. Well, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were not aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a simple and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
free life and the range of criminal activities
were limited
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
, one of the major reasons for concern are web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
activities, where our youth is the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'victimised' is British English.
victimised
and that all happened with the social media which is creating a kind of fake digital world for them.
Secondly
, criminals have always tried to put their step forward to have a breakthrough in any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
security.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'unauthorised' is British English.
unauthorised
transactions taking place through debit or credit cards by asking CVV or pin, and then following such transactions are one such case.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the mankind to provide a solution for the problem.
For example
, CCTV cameras are available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
to identify the criminal and proved to be one of the most effective means of security. Other various means like biometric
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for entrance in high alert areas, high security passwords for debit and credit cards, and in fact developing these cards is
also
a milestone in the history of financial and money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
matters.
Therefore
, we can say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
truly
helping a society as a whole.

In conclusion
, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is no doubt helping us in controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
the reason for its occurrence and with proper monitoring we can benefit ourselves better.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay A job with more vacation time but low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation. v. 259

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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