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Life in the 21st century is better compared to the previous century. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Life in the 21st century is better compared to the previous century. v. 1
In the last few decades, schooling is no longer restricted to a specific place. Rather, people are beginning to teach their children within the confines of their house. Whilst some are concerned that this is wrong, I strongly believe that it is a potential pathway. On the one hand, schooling at home deprives the younger ones the ability to socialize. The argument to support this is that one of the places where a child can learn interpersonal skills is in the classroom. Since, he is being taught from homely taught, this social ability remains dormant. The Punch newspaper, for example, reported that mothers who engage this new method are uncomfortable with the inability of their wards to relate with other members of the society. Thus, this could affect on them later in life. On the other hand, I do not believe that the aforementioned view stand up to scrutiny. Firstly, house tutoring gives parents the chance to spend more time with their children. That is, they have all the time to play and know the personality of each child better. In addition, teaching by parents ensures that each pupil is taught at his own pace, giving room for emphasis and corrections. The Queen's university, for instance, revealed a study in 2017 that students who were home-tutored performed better in mathematics than their counterparts who had their classes in the school. Thus, justifying this new trend. In conclusion, we have found a new ground for the next generation where they can be educated within the confines of their habitat and yet they have all the attention that they so desire.
In the last few decades, schooling is no longer restricted to a specific place.
Rather
,
people
are beginning to teach their children within the confines of their
house
. Whilst
some
are concerned
that this is
wrong
, I
strongly
believe that it is a potential pathway.

On the one hand, schooling at home deprives the younger ones the ability to socialize. The argument to support this is that one of the places where a child can learn interpersonal
skills
is in the classroom. Since, he is
being taught
from homely taught, this social ability remains dormant. The Punch newspaper,
for example
, reported that mothers who engage this new method are uncomfortable with the inability of their wards to relate with other members of the society.
Thus
, this could
affect
on them later in life.

On the other hand
, I do not believe that the aforementioned view stand up to scrutiny.

Firstly
,
house
tutoring gives parents the chance to spend more time with their children.
That is
, they have all the time to play and know the personality of each child better.
In addition
, teaching by parents ensures that each pupil
is taught
at his
own
pace, giving room for emphasis and corrections. The Queen's university,
for instance
, revealed a study in 2017 that students who were home-tutored performed
better in mathematics
than their counterparts who had their classes in the school.
Thus
, justifying this new trend.

In conclusion
, we have found a new ground for the
next
generation where they can
be educated
within the confines of their
habitat and
yet
they have all the attention that they
so
desire.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Life in the 21st century is better compared to the previous century. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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