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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the future, a majority of people will work from home. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.204

In the future, a majority of people will work from home. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 204
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter with regard to the lack of parking space available for the company's employees and the inconvenience caused by it. Since most of the employees commute through their private vehicles, there has been a shortage of parking space on the company's premises. While the next parking space is available at an extremely far distance, most of us have to travel again through cabs or auto to reach back at the office. Additionally, the area is unsafe, and because of the lack of security, our cars and bike have been damaged. For instance, yesterday, one of my colleagues, Mr. Shahid, was mentioning about his vehicle which got towed last week, and also the expense, he had to bear was enormous. However, even if we commute through an alternate mode of transportation, it turns out to be expensive and time-consuming. Because of this, we are not able to arrive at the office on time. In addition to this, the constant trepidation due to the shoddy parking area lowers our concentration at work. Moreover, it is practically unsafe for female employees to commute at night if they don't have a personal vehicle. If I may, I have a few suggestions, for example, increasing the number of parking allowance for the company's employees. Furthermore, a security guard allotted in the parking area would be very thoughtful. I kindly request you to resolve this matter and take action favourably. Thanking you for your consideration. Yours sincerely, Shakib Qureshi
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter with regard to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
space available for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and the inconvenience caused by it.

Since most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
commute through their private vehicles, there has been a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
space on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's premises. While the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
space is available at an
extremely
far distance, most of us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel again through cabs or auto to reach back at the office.
Additionally
, the area is unsafe, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of security, our cars and bike have
been damaged
.
For instance
, yesterday, one of my colleagues, Mr. Shahid, was
Did you mean simply "mentioning his"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioning about his
vehicle which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
towed last week, and
also
the expense, he had to bear was enormous.

However
, even if we commute through an alternate mode of transportation, it turns out to be expensive and time-consuming.
Because of this
, we are not able to arrive at the office on time.
In addition
to this, the constant trepidation due to the shoddy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
area lowers our concentration at work.
Moreover
, it is
practically
unsafe for female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to commute at night if they don't have a personal vehicle.

If I may, I have a few suggestions,
for example
, increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
allowance for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Furthermore
, a security guard allotted in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
area would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thoughtful. I kindly request you to resolve this matter and take action
Possible spelling mistake found.
favourably
.

Thanking you for your consideration.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Shakib
Qureshi
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future, a majority of people will work from home. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 204

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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