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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable for students to read works of fiction (such as novels and stories) than nonfiction. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v.156

It is more enjoyable for students to read works of fiction (such as novels and stories) than nonfiction. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 156
Some argue that punishment should be used in educating children what is right and what is wrong has been a controversial issue. Although I partly agree the statement, punishment applied should be positive and educational and absolutely exclude corporal ones. To begin, there are reasons that parents and teachers can use punishment in child education. Sometimes, the kids just go beyond the line and do not follow the discipline, then they need to be given punishment to be taught right from wrong. However, this approach is not supposed to make the kids afraid of adults, but to teach them the importance of good manners. Together with rewards, punishment is part of child discipline methods that encourage desirable behaviours and discourage others in children. When punishment is used appropriately, it can help dissuade children from some types of bad behaviours. Furthermore, a good punishment is the one that helps students pick up lessons and change their attitude and behaviours in a positive way. In other words, punishment should serve the purpose of education which teaches children to acknowledge their mistakes, understand the consequences and take responsibility for their ill manners. For instance, if a student draws on the school wall, he or she will have to clean the wall as a detention. This approach helps students understand their mistakes and the consequences, thus they will not repeat that manner in the future. Other approaches can be an early bedtime (in family), doing extra chores or no break time if they misbehave. In addition, corporal and verbal punishment such as hitting, spanking and scolding should be avoided since they can cause behavioural and psychological problems in young learners. They can even result in low self-esteem, aggression and stress-related issues in the long run. Besides, punishment can go with rewards, since children deserve to be applauded when they do something good. Parents can take some time-out from their offsprings if they mess around, but the kids also deserve a day-out to a park as a reward for being nice to friends or making efforts I in their study. In conclusion, it is possible to use punishment to teach young learners right and wrong, but the methods should be for education purposes and importantly the betterment of children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
has been a controversial issue. Although I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the statement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
applied should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and educational and
absolutely
exclude corporal ones.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are reasons that parents and teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in child education.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, the kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
go beyond the line and do not follow the discipline, then they need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to
be taught
right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
However
, this approach is not supposed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the kids afraid of adults,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to teach them the importance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners. Together with rewards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is part of child discipline methods that encourage desirable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and discourage others in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
appropriately
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
dissuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

Furthermore
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is the one that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students pick up lessons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should serve the purpose of education which teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to acknowledge their mistakes, understand the consequences and take responsibility for their ill manners.
For instance
, if a student draws on the school wall, he or she will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
clean the wall as a detention. This approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students understand their mistakes and the consequences,
thus
they will not repeat that manner in the future. Other approaches can be an early bedtime (in family), doing extra chores or no break time if they misbehave.

In addition
, corporal and verbal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
such as hitting, spanking and scolding should
be avoided
since they can cause
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
and psychological problems in young learners. They can even result in low self-esteem, aggression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related issues in the long run.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
rewards, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
deserve to
be applauded
when they do something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Parents can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time-out from their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
if they mess around,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the kids
also
deserve a day-out to a park as a reward for being nice to friends or making efforts I in their study.

In conclusion
, it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to teach young learners right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the methods should be for education purposes and
importantly
the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay It is more enjoyable for students to read works of fiction (such as novels and stories) than nonfiction. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 156

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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