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Do you agree or disagree with the following statements. Teachers should not make their social or political views know to the students in the classroom. v.3

Teachers should not make their social or political views know to the students in the classroom. v. 3
It becomes a very common trend for young adults to move to urban areas to be admitted to well renowned universities and to look for better working opportunities. This essay will discuss its causes and the benefits and demerits of this development. Personally, I believe that its negative sides supersedes the advantages. Firstly, one of the reasons why people prefer to live in cities is because they find it harder to have promising career and to advance in their position while working in the rural areas. Most jobs in villages offer limited benefits, wage increase and personal trainings and development. For example, in the Philippines, salaries are relatively lower in provinces as compared to what the minimum wage employee can earn. Secondly, as people foresee that there is lack of employment opportunities in their hometown, and universities and colleges from where applicants graduated had become a contributing factor to be selected in top companies, they had to study to these better colleges which offer competent educational curriculum and facilities which are mostly available in cities only. One of the advantages of this is people become to learn to live independently as they no longer have their parents to sustain their daily needs and offer minor decisions in their routines. In addition to that, experiences and learnings that cities can offer are undoubtedly helpful for one’s personal development. With past-faced and changing environment and differences among people to deal with in the cities can definitely lead to improve one’s adaptability and growth. On the other hand, as more people try to relocate in urban areas, increase in traffic congestion and pollution, which are now considered as city problems that are extremely difficult to resolve. More time is being wasted on the roads instead of using it as quality time for the family or to be more productive. Furthermore, as people try to move out of their hometowns, these places become under-develop because of lack of skills and workforce. It hampers the growth of these communities as investors and entrepreneurs would still prefer to build their business in cities as they find that they will become more successful in areas with more people living around. Hence, these would result to slow progress of the nation as there is no equal distribution of opportunities for growth among different areas of the country. In conclusion, the downside of this trend has become more evident as today’s generation is already facing the negative impact it has caused among the people and for the country, which overall outweighs the benefits.
It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common trend for young adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
be admitted
to well renowned universities and to look for better working opportunities. This essay will discuss its causes and the benefits and demerits of this development.
Personally
, I believe that its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides supersedes the advantages.

Firstly
, one of the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they find it harder to have promising career and to advance in their position while working in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Most jobs in villages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
limited benefits, wage increase and personal trainings and development.
For example
, in the Philippines, salaries are
relatively
lower in provinces as compared to what the minimum wage employee can earn.
Secondly
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
foresee that there is lack of employment opportunities in their hometown, and universities and colleges from where applicants graduated had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a contributing factor to
be selected
in top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, they had to study to these better colleges which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
competent educational curriculum and facilities which are
mostly
available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

One of the advantages of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
to learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
as they no longer have their parents to sustain their daily needs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
minor decisions in their routines.
In addition
to that, experiences and learnings that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
are
undoubtedly
helpful for one’s personal development. With past-faced and changing environment and differences among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to deal with in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can definitely lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one’s adaptability and growth.

On the other hand
, as more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to relocate in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, increase in traffic congestion and pollution, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered as city problems that are
extremely
difficult to resolve. More time is
being wasted
on the roads
instead
of using it as quality time for the family or to be more productive.
Furthermore
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of their hometowns, these places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
under-develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and workforce. It hampers the growth of these communities as investors and entrepreneurs would
still
prefer to build their business in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as they find that they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living around.
Hence
, these would result to slow progress of the nation as there is no equal distribution of opportunities for growth among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the country.

In conclusion
, the downside of this trend has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more evident as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation is already facing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact it has caused among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and for the country, which
overall
outweighs the benefits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Teachers should not make their social or political views know to the students in the classroom. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
424 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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