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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers’ salaries. v.150

The best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers’ salaries. v. 150
Nowadays advertising is changing the way people use to market consumer goods and services. From our television to smartphones, we are exposed to tons of ads on a daily basis. These advertising affects our buying decisions, whether we really need it the product or not. Popular ads, including celebrities influence teenagers to purchase the particular thing as their idol is using it so they want to grab it as soon as possible. People are passionate about the stars so tend to follow them no matter how practically insignificant that item might is. Most of the time advertising creates a fad in the market, which refers to the trend for a limited period of time. Whenever a new product/service launches everyone wants to buy it as you see it everywhere you go or in the hands of someone you meet. For a particular amount of time people will react to this, but then they will forget about that product at all. Also, sometimes the product seems very beautiful in television screen that it drives people’s attention, in actual it might not be of the same quality, but as people considered it at the first time, they saw so they will purchase it. However, it’s not only the advertising that drives someone’s attention to purchase a particular good, but it might be because of the irrational buying habits or higher disposable income of a person. In conclusion, advertising plays an important role in the decision-making process, but it’s not the sole reason for the high sales of consumer goods.
Nowadays advertising is changing the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to market consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services. From our television to smartphones, we
are exposed
to tons of ads on a daily basis. These advertising affects our buying decisions, whether we
really
need it the product or not.

Popular ads, including celebrities influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the particular thing as their idol is using it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they want to grab it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are passionate about the stars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tend to follow them no matter how
practically
insignificant that item might is.

Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
advertising creates a fad in the market, which refers to the trend for a limited period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Whenever a new product/service launches everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it as you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it everywhere you go or in the hands of someone you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. For a particular amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will react to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then they will forget about that product at all.

Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the product seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
in television screen that it drives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attention, in actual it might not be of the same quality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
considered it at the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it.
However
, it’s not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the advertising that drives someone’s attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the irrational buying habits or higher disposable income of a person.

In conclusion
, advertising plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the decision-making process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s not the sole reason for the high sales of consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers’ salaries. v. 150

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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