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Fast food is a part of life in some places some people think this has a bad effect in lifestyle and diet? do you agree disagree? v.1

Fast food is a part of life in some places some people think this has a bad effect in lifestyle and diet? do you agree disagree? v. 1
The traffic jam issue has long been a public concern, especially in some major cities worldwide. Whether governments should be involved in addressing this problem has triggered a heated controversy. It is true that governmental intervention can bring some benefits to some extent; it is opposed by some people though. Undoubtedly, governments possess greater authority than any other parties in the society, which means that their intervention is comparatively effective. For example, the implement of congestion tax can directly lead to the decline of traffic during rush hours because of the increasing driving cost. Another advantage of governmental intervention is that governments can impact the public to a wider extent. Unlike some actions taken by the social communities, large companies or individuals, the projects carried out by governments have restrictions on every citizen living in the city or country. Once the traffic congestion is reduced, there will be many positive effects followed by, for instance, the commuting time can be largely diminished for those who need to travel to and from work. On the other hand, the extra tax raised by the government will impose a negative influence on some people. One potential group affected by this policy is those who have to drive to and from work. If this measure comes into effect, the financial burden on them is definitely higher. As a result, the well-being of these people may experience a decline, which is against the aim of governmental policies. In conclusion, boons and banes co-exist in terms of this tax policy. It can effectively solve the congestion problems to a large extent, while some damages can be caused to those who are taxed, especially in the financial way.
The traffic jam issue has long been a public concern,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major cities worldwide.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
be involved
in addressing this problem has triggered a heated controversy. It is true that governmental intervention can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent; it
is opposed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
though.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
possess greater authority than any other parties in the society, which means that their intervention is
comparatively
effective.
For example
, the implement of congestion tax can
directly
lead to the decline of traffic during rush hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing driving cost. Another advantage of governmental intervention is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can impact the public to a wider extent. Unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions taken by the social communities, large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or individuals, the projects carried out by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have restrictions on every citizen living in the city or country. Once the traffic congestion is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects followed by,
for instance
, the commuting time can be
largely
diminished for those who need to travel to and from work.

On the other hand
, the extra tax raised by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will impose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. One potential group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this policy is those who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
drive to and from work. If this measure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
into effect, the financial burden on them is definitely higher.
As a result
, the well-being of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may experience a decline, which is against the aim of governmental policies.

In conclusion
, boons and banes co-exist in terms of this tax policy. It can
effectively
solve the congestion problems to a large extent, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damages can
be caused
to those who
are taxed
,
especially
in the financial way.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Fast food is a part of life in some places some people think this has a bad effect in lifestyle and diet? do you agree disagree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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