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there is a increase of noise in our daily life now a days. why is this a problem? what can be done to reduce it v.1

there is a increase of noise in our daily life now a days. why is this a problem? what can be done to reduce it v. 1
It is everyone’s wish to lead a happy life in today’s stressful world. It is difficult to have a universal definition of happiness because everyone has different set criteria for its describe it. This essay will be discussing that a single parameter can't be set to define happiness, and how good health coupled with pleasant family life are the most crucial factors to achieve cheerfulness in life. To begin with, it is difficult to define happiness because of the various parameters involved. One important factor is the wealth, which is considered to be a marker of a happy life as it enables us to meet our requirements, however, it brings extra stress with it as every rich man can't be considered a happy person on this planet. For instance, a recent article published in the Pakistan Medical Journal revealed that sixty per cent of the elite rich businessmen in Karachi were depressed with their lives, despite having enough finances to lead a luxurious life. Contrary to this, someone achieving professional excellence alone, without enough financial resources, may not be happy as the lack of money will make him feel deprived rather than being happy. It thus clarifies the difficulty to devise a unified definition of happiness based on a single parameter. However, there are some crucial factors which can play an important role to get the true spirit of happiness. Firstly, happiness will be meaningless without the physical health and well being. A person suffering from blood cancer is likely to remain unhappy, even if provided with any other ingredient of happiness like money. Adding further, harmonious family relations are an integral part of happiness. As per a recent survey report, published in The Times magazine, people having good family relations were found to be the most contented with their lives in the New York City as compared to the ones having more money, but disturbed family life. Thus, there are other crucial factors beyond wealth and professional achievements, which are integral to a happy life. To summarise, it is difficult to define happiness based on a single parameter, rather linking of the various criteria of happiness will be helpful in achieving happiness. I hope that society will have a deep insight into happiness to ensure a balanced approach, rather than running after a single factor to achieve it.
It is everyone’s wish to lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s stressful world. It is difficult to have a universal definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
set criteria for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
it. This essay will be discussing that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
parameter can't
be set
to define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, and how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health coupled with pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are the most crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
to achieve cheerfulness in life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is difficult to define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the various parameters involved. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is the wealth, which
is considered
to be a marker of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it enables us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
our requirements,
however
, it brings extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
with it as every rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can't
be considered
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
person on this planet.
For instance
, a recent article published in the Pakistan Medical Journal revealed that sixty per cent of the elite rich businessmen in Karachi
were depressed
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
finances to lead a luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Contrary to this, someone achieving professional excellence alone, without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
financial resources, may not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
as the lack of money will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him feel deprived
rather
than being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. It
thus
clarifies the difficulty to devise a unified definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
based on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
parameter.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the true spirit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
will be meaningless without the physical health and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. A person suffering from blood cancer is likely to remain unhappy, even if provided with any other ingredient of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
like money. Adding
further
, harmonious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relations are an integral part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. As per a recent survey report, published in The Times magazine,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relations
were found
to be the most contented with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the New York City as compared to the ones having more money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
disturbed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
, there are other crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
beyond wealth and professional achievements, which are integral to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
life.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it is difficult to define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
based on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
parameter,
rather
linking of the various criteria of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
will be helpful in achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. I hope that society will have a deep insight into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to ensure a balanced approach,
rather
than running after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to achieve it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay there is a increase of noise in our daily life now a days. why is this a problem? what can be done to reduce it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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