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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. v.109

People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. v. 109
Although putting a hindrance to artistic creativity is thought by some to be crucial for society, others claim that artists should be totally free to give voice to their beliefs and emotions. I lay my thought alongside the opinion of the latter, due to the arts and freedom of expression, both are the rudimentary elements of human rights. Some individuals believe that arts are brash, intricate instruments, which can transgress the moral, religious principles; as a result, these blasphemies have to be restricted severely. To illustrate more, several years ago, a youngster from Denmark drew a picture of Mohammad prophet and pose the wrath of Muslims all over the world. Therefore, it is potential that artists exploit their liberties so as to trample the rights of other people with different beliefs and religions worldwide. The opponents of the art’s limitation state that such creative activities are the basic form of human expression and if the media are controlled by despots, arts will be sole instruments to demonstrate the fact, poverty, adversity, and even corruption. Moreover, they are of the opinion that local ethics are not conclusive and should be evolved. Thereby, artists can manifest equality, diversity, and unity, thus, we can refer to it as a meticulous measure rather than immoral ones. In conclusion, despite the fact that some creative masterpieces, once in a while, are considered intimidation for ethical dimensions, but they scrutinize what it means to be human, so liberty is an integral part of that as a pivotal, basic human right.
Although putting a hindrance to artistic creativity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to be crucial for society, others claim that artists should be
totally
free to give voice to their beliefs and emotions. I lay my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
alongside the opinion of the latter, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and freedom of expression, both are the rudimentary elements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
rights.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are brash, intricate instruments, which can transgress the moral, religious principles;
as a result
, these blasphemies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be restricted
severely
. To illustrate more, several years ago, a youngster from Denmark drew a picture of Mohammad prophet and pose the wrath of Muslims all over the world.
Therefore
, it is potential that artists exploit their liberties
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
trample the rights of other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs and religions worldwide.

The opponents of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art’s
limitation state that such creative activities are the basic form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
expression and if the media
are controlled
by despots,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
will be sole instruments to demonstrate the fact, poverty, adversity, and even corruption.
Moreover
, they are of the opinion that local ethics are not conclusive and should
be evolved
. Thereby, artists can manifest equality, diversity, and unity,
thus
, we can refer to it as a meticulous measure
rather
than immoral ones.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
creative masterpieces, once in a while,
are considered
intimidation for ethical dimensions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they scrutinize what it means to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
liberty is an integral part of that as a pivotal, basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
right.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. v. 109

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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