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1672 how do people in your country travel on long journeys? Mostly people like to travel by bus or train for long distant journeys. v.1

1672 how do people in your country travel on long journeys? Mostly people like to travel by bus or train for long distant journeys. v. 1
Music is a synopsis of the global village, communication, variety, game changer, comfort through relaxation, closeness, emotions, motivation, happiness shaping up skills, performance, perfection, hard work and abilities around the globe. In the present era, music is with common interests, relaxation, social gathering along with music presents hate, language barriers and personal uses. However, music has its own benefits and drawbacks to the people in general and to the society as a whole. Firstly, it provides opportunity to convey messages and gather them around the globe. For instance, music comprises of rock, folk, rapper and classical music with proper structure and design for attraction. Secondly, it's played a vital role in the form of relaxation, entertainment and happiness. Music is also an ideal leisure activity around the globe. Moreover, music plays a vital role in social gathering all over the world and also connect people of different cultures and religions. In addition to that, music spread hate in different ways all around the globe. On one hand, it is wastage of resources, money, potential and precious energy. On the other hand, it illustrates language barriers, miss understanding around the globe. According to a research, sometimes people use it for personal usage and spread negativity and target specific religion. In conclusion, music has crucial impact all over the world. It provides freedom, closeness, relaxation, whereas it is an enigma, wastage of resources, hate, cultural differences and language barriers. In my point of view, music waste of resource, time, skills and abilities, music spread hate among different cultures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a synopsis of the global village, communication, variety, game changer, comfort through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxation
, closeness, emotions, motivation, happiness shaping up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, performance, perfection,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and abilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
globe
. In the present era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is with common interests,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxation
, social gathering along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
presents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hate
, language barriers and personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in general
and to the society as a whole.

Firstly
, it provides opportunity to convey messages and gather them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
globe
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
rock, folk, rapper and classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with proper structure and design for attraction.
Secondly
, it's played a vital role in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxation
, entertainment and happiness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is
also
an ideal leisure activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
globe
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a vital role in social gathering all over the world and
also
connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and religions.

In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hate
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
globe
. On one hand, it is wastage of resources, money, potential and precious energy.
On the other hand
, it illustrates language barriers, miss understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
globe
. According to a research,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for personal usage and spread negativity and target specific religion.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has crucial impact all over the world. It provides freedom, closeness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxation
, whereas it is an enigma, wastage of resources,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hate
, cultural differences and language barriers. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
waste of resource, time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hate
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1672 how do people in your country travel on long journeys? Mostly people like to travel by bus or train for long distant journeys. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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