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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. v.532

People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. v. 532
In today' s hectic city of life, in which life has trials and tribulations, vast majorities of people look for a better life. In fact, there are different points of view regarding the trend of modern lives. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether human beings are looking for public recognition or money. However, the popular sentiment to which I vehemently cling is that despite public recognition, human beings have put their efforts so as to accumulate a hoard of money, since the dawn of civilization. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework. To commence with, it is established beyond doubt that people make their efforts and bend over backward so as to find a well-paid and a decent job in order to guarantee their future lives. Generally phrased, although public recognition might play an important role for some people, hardly can people reach their goals without gaining money. As a tangible example, accumulate a vast sum of a budget can provide an opportunity for individuals to do everything they want or need. Nowadays, people care more about education, healthy life, luxurious house and so forth. So, not only can money help people achieve these valuable parameters but also can help them lead a successful life in their personal lives. To elucidate more on this issue, with money people have fortune and chance, so, they could build their future lives on a foundation of convenience and doubled their money by a conspicuous investment in the stock market. Another equally salient point in corroborating my stance is that life difficulties definitely come in different forms and shapes, so, they could be painful or sweet as well, which accompany us in the whole life. If we take a minute to ponder over it, every mature human being has to admit that success will be a blank dream without difficulties. Arguably, care more about money will provide fertile ground for people to overcome those difficulties and repel any obstacle or barrier. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that vast majorities of people try hard to have both public recognition and money simultaneously. But, as far as I am concerned, not only could it be a hard task to do but also it could create some problems, which distract people' s attention from their lives. Therefore, many people prefer to think of money because it will bring fame as well as fortune and wealth. However, every coin has two sides. Money is not the whole thing in the life. Somehow donate some money to the poor people is the sign of public recognition since in this way, people contribute greatly to the reduction of destitution in any given society. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s hectic city of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has trials and tribulations, vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
points of view regarding the trend of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Various points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
human beings are looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recognition
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
, the popular sentiment to which I
vehemently
cling is that despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recognition
, human beings have put their efforts
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
accumulate a hoard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, since the dawn of civilization. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework.

To commence with, it
is established
beyond doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their efforts and bend over backward
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
find a well-paid and a decent job in order to guarantee their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Generally
phrased, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recognition
might play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, hardly can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reach their goals without gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. As a tangible example, accumulate a vast sum of a budget can provide an opportunity for individuals to do everything they want or need. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
care more about education, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, luxurious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve these valuable parameters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them lead a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. To elucidate more on this issue, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have fortune and chance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they could build their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
on a foundation of convenience and doubled their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by a conspicuous investment in the stock market.

Another
equally
salient point in corroborating my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
difficulties definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms and shapes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they could be painful or sweet
as well
, which accompany us in the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If we take a minute to ponder over it, every mature human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
admit that success will be a blank dream without difficulties.
Arguably
, care more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will provide fertile ground for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to overcome those difficulties and repel any obstacle or barrier. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to have both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recognition
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
simultaneously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, as far as I
am concerned
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could it be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
task to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it could create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, which distract
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s attention from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will bring fame
as well
as fortune and wealth.

However
, every coin has two sides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is not the whole thing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Somehow donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recognition
since in this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contribute
greatly
to the reduction of destitution in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
society.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. v. 532

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
514 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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