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Do you agree or disagree with following statement it is better to hold a big party and invite many people to come than a small party where only a few close friends and family members are invited. v.2

it is better to hold a big party and invite many people to come than a small party where only a few close friends and family members are invited. v. 2
Even though people are so busy, gathering together and enjoying our time with each other should never be forgotten. Some people hold parties and invite their friends in specific days such as birthdays. They have a plan for managing their party very well and they know which of their relatives or friends would be invited. The controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is whether it is better to hold a big and crowded party or a small one with close families and friends. From my own vantage perspective, I am strongly disagreed with this idea that the big party would be better than small one and I will explicate my chief reasons through the following paragraphs. To commence, the first subtle point requires to be mentioned is not cost effective. Holding a big party would provide tremendous expenses. Therefore, the party would not be so economical for its host. In order to shed more light on the proposed fact some of families have tight budget and they cannot afford to hold a big party. If these families want to have a big party with inviting many people, they would spend all of their budgets and incomes. It would be harsh for them. However, they either can hold a small party with cordial friends and relatives or save their money and they do not concern about their low budgets. Thus, I subscribe to hold a small party. Another compelling reason comes in to consideration is managing well. If people hold a big party, they would meet some problems for organizing the party. From my experience, I and my sister decided to hold a big party and invited about 200 guests. We organized everything which must be performed in our party for example buying all of staffs, decorating our houses, choosing the music and so on. But when the party started, everything was ruined and we felt upset, our party was destroyed since we had been confused how to handle the large number of our guests. Whereas, in the small party people can manage their party well and feel relax because they can control everything so easily. I concur small parties would be more practical and memorable than big ones. To wrap it up, all aforementioned arguments lead us to the fact that planning to have a small party with close friends and families would be more beneficial than the big one. The owners of small party feel relax and its costs do not oppress them, so both hosts and guests can enjoy the party. I firmly recommend that people decide to hold a big party or small one by considering their budget and their abilities to manage the party.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy, gathering together and enjoying our time with each other should never
be forgotten
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and invite their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in specific days such as birthdays. They have a plan for managing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
well and
they know which of their relatives or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
would
be invited
. The controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised regarding this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is whether it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
and crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
one with close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vantage perspective, I am
strongly
disagreed with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
would be better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
one and I will explicate my chief reasons through the following paragraphs.

To commence, the
first
subtle point requires to
be mentioned
is not cost effective. Holding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
would provide tremendous expenses.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
economical for its host. In order to shed more light on the proposed fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have tight
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
budget and
they cannot afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
want to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
with inviting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they would spend all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
and incomes. It would be harsh for them.
However
, they either can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
with cordial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and relatives or save their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they do not concern about their low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
.
Thus
, I subscribe to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
party.

Another compelling reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in to consideration is managing well. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems for organizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
. From my experience, I and my sister decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
and invited about 200 guests. We organized everything which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be performed
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
for example
buying
Consider using "all staffs" or "all of the staffs".
all of staffs
, decorating our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, choosing the music and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, everything was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ruined and
we felt upset, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
since we had
been confused
how to handle the large number of our guests. Whereas, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
well and feel relax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can control everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easily
. I concur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
would be more practical and memorable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
ones.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned arguments lead us to the fact that planning to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
with close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
would be more beneficial than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
one. The owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
feel relax and its costs do not oppress them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
both hosts and guests can enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
. I
firmly
recommend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hold
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
one by considering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
and their abilities to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
69Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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Czech Proverb

IELTS essay it is better to hold a big party and invite many people to come than a small party where only a few close friends and family members are invited. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
451 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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