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Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort To what extent do you agree with this How do you think space exploration will change in the future v.2

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort 2
In ancient century, fire-lighting has been found by the early man. It is kind of big invention which brings the huge impact throughout the world. But now, people who explore the space is a common in our life, it has been argued that people going outer space have had more to do with national pride than international effort. In my mind, people who explore the space have been made their nationality proud of them because they brought their country flag which fluttered in space. Now, let’s discuss this essay. Since people know about technology, they try to develop their knowledge about all of science without exception they are looking for something new in outer space. Neil Elden Armstrong was an American astronaut and the first person to walk on the Moon. In July 21th 1969, they landed on the Moon then he put the American flag in the surface of the Moon. From that moment, America has been well-known as the Superpower Country which has advance technology to send the man explore outside Earth. People who journey into outer space make their country really proud of them because they show to throughout the world how great their country. Then, it could be national prestige which is no other countries have it. On the other hand, some may argue that space exploration has had international effort because the current practicality confirms that collaborative efforts are available and the efforts will contribute to the fulfillment of the purpose of the space exploration. Even if the United States alone is fully capable of going to Mars, it has no reason to make that ventures an isolated effort. The United States must be open enough to work with other nations not only for even higher efficiency but also for a share of excitement and benefits with everyone on the earth. In the future, I think voyage to outside the Earth is becoming a necessity for human because many people use advance technology which can be developed on other planets. Travel to outside Earth will be common for ordinary people who do not have basic as a cosmonaut. Next generation, the situation in our Earth will be changing and there is new information about move the half of people on Earth to live on Mars. Thus, the scientists have prepared and enhance the knowledge how to survive in outer space. To sum up, Astronaut who succeeded travel outer space will brings the prestigious impression about their country. Although, the nations of the world must move toward global unification and the cooperation in space will be an ideal approach since there exists no national border. Then, high technology will make easier people on Earth to have journey outer space and it will get well-known in the future.
In ancient century, fire-lighting has
been found
by the early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. It is kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
invention which brings the huge impact throughout the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is a common in our life, it has
been argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
have had more to do with national pride than international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
. In my mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
have
been made
their nationality proud of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they brought their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
flag which fluttered in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s discuss this essay.

Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, they try to develop their knowledge about
Consider using "all science" or "all of the science".
all of science
without exception they are looking for something new in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. Neil
Possible spelling mistake found.
Elden
Armstrong was an American astronaut and the
first
person to walk on the Moon. In July
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
1969, they landed on the Moon then he put the American flag in the surface of the Moon. From that moment, America has been well-known as the Superpower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
which has advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
explore outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
journey into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
really
proud of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to throughout the world how great their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Then, it could be national prestige which is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have it.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration has had international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
practicality confirms that collaborative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
are available and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
will contribute to the fulfillment of the purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration. Even if the United States alone is
fully
capable of going to Mars, it has no reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that ventures an isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
. The United States
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for even higher efficiency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for a share of excitement and benefits with everyone on the earth.

In the future, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
voyage to outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is becoming a necessity for human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which can
be developed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets. Travel to outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
will be common for ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have basic as a cosmonaut.
Next
generation, the situation in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
will be changing and there is new information about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on Mars.
Thus
, the scientists have prepared and enhance the knowledge how to survive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
space.

To sum up, Astronaut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
succeeded travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "bring"
brings
the prestigious impression about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Although, the nations of the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
toward global unification and the cooperation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
will be an ideal approach since there exists no national border. Then, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
to have
Use past participle here: "journeyed".
journey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well-known in the future.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
461 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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