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DO you agree or disagree: The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is increasing the price of gasoline and electricity. v.1

: The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is increasing the price of gasoline and electricity. v. 1
It is a well known fact that many people can earn higher salaries. Some people believe that it is beneficial for the overall development of the country, whereas others think that the government should control the earning and salaries of people. I will discuss both the views and give my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, how it is good for the country, if the people can earn higher salaries. First and foremost point is hard work. In the modern era, everyone wants to live in luxury lifestyle and fulfil their all the dreams, this can only possibly by receiving enough salary, if they receive high salary, with this they can do more and more hard work and do more work within a few hours, which is very beneficial for the development of the country. For example, a person can earn 5000 rupees per day and they can do more hard work, with this the others also motivate, they can also earn a high salary by doing hard work. On the other hand, why the government should control the salaries and earning of all human's. Firstly, in these days, partiality is very common in poor as well as rich people because nowadays in private schools, hospitals and some other places give more preferences to the rich people as compared to poor people. So, that is why, the government should control the high salary and earning, with this mostly earning of all the people become same, as a result the partiality becomes demolished. To conclude, I think that, both the views are good for the country, but the government gives salary to people according their work or experience.
It is a well known fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is beneficial for the
overall
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I will discuss both the views and give my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, how it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
First
and foremost point is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In the modern era, everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in luxury lifestyle and fulfil their all the dreams, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possibly
by receiving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, if they receive high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, with this they can do more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
within a few hours, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, a person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
5000 rupees per
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
they can do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, with this the others
also
motivate, they can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
of all
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "humans"?
human's
.
Firstly
, in these days, partiality is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in poor
as well
as rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays in private schools, hospitals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places give more preferences to the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as compared to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should control the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
, with this
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become same,
as a result
the partiality becomes demolished.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, both the views are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
according their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or experience.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is increasing the price of gasoline and electricity. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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