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Do you agree or disagree that students should bring a cellphone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.3

that students should bring a cellphone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 3
Advancement in technology has made it possible to shop online. A number of people like to purchase edibles from nearby supermarkets and local vendors. On the other hand, a group of people prefer to shop from online stores. I would like to discuss both the views of the topic. To begin with, online shopping of food has become common in busy cities because it satisfies the lifestyle needs of the people due to heavy traffic, the availability of products and long distances. Moreover, it is much convenient to compare prices among multiple products and choose the best. Apart from that, prices of online goods are much cheaper when compared to supermarket because they do not require a large storage space and staff for maintenance. For instance, the amount of supermarkets closing has increased because of the competitive prices and discounts offered by the online stores. However, the traditional way of purchasing food from local vendors or supermarkets is still popular among others. This has some pros like tasting different kinds edibles before purchasing them and ensuring the quality of the product. This method preserves the look and feel of the product before obtaining. The major drawback of shopping at supermarkets is it is time consuming and tedious task to find the products. To illustrate, people spend a major amount of time in searching for the products in supermarkets than trying them out. In conclusion, no doubt advantages of online shopping outweighs the traditional methods of shopping, food at supermarkets, saving customers both time and money.
Advancement in technology has made it possible to shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
edibles from nearby supermarkets and local vendors.
On the other hand
, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to shop from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores. I would like to discuss both the views of the topic.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
of food has become common in busy cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it satisfies the lifestyle needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to heavy traffic, the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and long distances.
Moreover
, it is much convenient to compare prices among multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and choose the best. Apart from that, prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are much cheaper when compared to supermarket
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not require a large storage space and staff for maintenance.
For instance
, the amount of supermarkets closing has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the competitive prices and discounts offered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores.

However
, the traditional way of purchasing food from local vendors or supermarkets is
still
popular among others. This has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros like tasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds edibles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing them and ensuring the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This method preserves the look and feel of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
obtaining. The major drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at supermarkets is it is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and tedious task to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a major amount of time in searching for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in supermarkets than trying them out.

In conclusion
, no doubt advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
outweighs the traditional methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, food at supermarkets, saving customers both time and money.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay that students should bring a cellphone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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