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Do you agree or disagree that grade school students should bring a cell phone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

that grade school students should bring a cell phone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
The Internet is beginning to rival newspapers as the best place to find information about what is happening in the world. I believe that this trend will continue, and the Internet will soon be just as important as the traditional press. On the one hand, I believe that newspapers will continue to be a vital source of information, even in the Internet age. Firstly, newspapers are the most traditional means of communicating the news, and not everyone wants to or is able to use the Internet instead. For example, old people or those in rural areas might not have the ability or opportunity to get online, while many of us simply prefer newspapers even if we do have Internet access. Secondly, newspapers can be trusted as reliable sources of news because they employ professional journalists and editors. Finally, many people like the experience of holding and reading a paper rather than looking at a computer screen. However, the Internet is likely to become just as popular as newspapers for a variety of reasons. The main reason is that it allows us much faster access to news in real time and wherever we are, on different gadgets and mobile devices. Another key benefit of online news compared to newspapers is the ability to share articles, discuss them with other people, give our views, and even contribute with our own updates on social media. For example, there has been an explosion in the use of platforms like Twitter and YouTube, where anyone can share their news and views. A final point is that this source of news is less damaging to the environment. In conclusion, I disagree with the view that newspapers will continue to be the main source Of news, because I believe that the Internet will soon be equally important.
The Internet is beginning to rival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
as the best place to find information about what is happening in the world. I believe that this trend will continue, and the Internet will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the traditional press.

On the one hand, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will continue to be a vital source of information, even in the Internet age.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are the most traditional means of communicating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, and not everyone wants to or is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet
instead
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or those in rural areas might not have the ability or opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
online, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us
simply
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
even if we do have Internet access.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
can
be trusted
as reliable sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they employ professional journalists and editors.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like the experience of holding and reading a paper
rather
than looking at a computer screen.

However
, the Internet is likely to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as popular as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
for a variety of reasons. The main reason is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us much faster access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in real time and wherever we are, on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
gadgets and mobile devices. Another key benefit of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is the ability to share articles, discuss them with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, give our views, and even contribute with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
updates on social media.
For example
, there has been an explosion in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of platforms like Twitter and YouTube, where anyone can share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and views. A final point is that this source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is less damaging to the environment.

In conclusion
, I disagree with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will continue to be the main source

Of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that the Internet will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay that grade school students should bring a cell phone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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