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do you agree or disagree? it is better to travel abroad to visit different countries when you are young than old. v.93

it is better to travel abroad to visit different countries when you are young than old. v. 93
Finding ways to improve educational element is often one of the top priorities in every education system. In some cultures, high school students are encouraged to give their opinions about teachers, but I believe that this can also give rise to lack of respect and discipline in the classroom. On the one hand, it is true that feedback from learners may contribute to an improvement in educational quality. In many cases, the level of comprehension of students relies very much not on the content of the practice but on the way teachers conduct it. If, for example, the class is slow, it will be ineffective for teachers teach too fast so that most students fail to retain the information. Without the comments of students, it would be difficult to know whether the speed of the lesson is appropriate for the class, which may eventually impair the nature of the exercise. However, there are several drawbacks of allowing students to make comments and criticism on their teachers. Firstly, teachers can be vulnerable to the negative words of students. Many will feel that their efforts in delivering the reading deserve praise rather than criticism or any form of feedback. This idea is commonly shared by teachers in the education systems of many Asian countries. Secondly, the classroom may be in chaos due to massive numbers of comments. Opinions vary from students to students, and it would be impractical for teachers to work out a way of teaching that can satisfy all students. In conclusion, it seems to me that encouraging high school students to comment about their teachers does not necessarily mean an improvement in character education.
Finding ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
educational element is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
one of the top priorities in every education system. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures, high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are encouraged
to give their opinions about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that this can
also
give rise to lack of respect and discipline in the classroom.

On the one hand, it is true that feedback from learners may contribute to an improvement in educational quality. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the level of comprehension of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
relies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much not on the content of the practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
conduct it. If,
for example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is slow, it will be ineffective for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
teach too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
fail to retain the information. Without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comments
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it would be difficult to know whether the speed of the lesson is appropriate for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, which may
eventually
impair the nature of the exercise.

However
, there are several drawbacks of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comments
and criticism on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can be vulnerable to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
words of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
will feel that their efforts in delivering the reading deserve praise
rather
than criticism or any form of feedback. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
commonly
shared by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the education systems of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian countries.
Secondly
, the classroom may be in chaos due to massive numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comments
. Opinions vary from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, and it would be impractical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to work out a way of teaching that can satisfy all students.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that encouraging high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comment
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
does not
necessarily
mean an improvement in character education.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay it is better to travel abroad to visit different countries when you are young than old. v. 93

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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