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do you agree or disagree. It is better for children to choose jobs that are simmiler to their parents' job than choose jobs that are very different from their parnents' jobs. Use specific resons and examples to support your answer. v.194

It is better for children to choose jobs that are simmiler to their parents' job than choose jobs that are very different from their parnents' jobs. Use specific resons and examples to support your answer. v. 194
In endeavor for stability and happiness people choose their job carefully. Although some people prefer to choose jobes that their parents have because they are familiar with it, others prefer to choose jobs that are completely different than their parents' jobs. In my opinion, depending on what they like or dislike, people should choose their jobs. Since most of the people spend most of their time at their jobs, people should choose jobs that they are completely fulfill their satisfaction and passionate. Working in a job field or job position that we like increases our creativity and enhance our performance. Working on subject or at position we like can increase our thought significantly. A study have been conducted in the University Of California indicated that the more passionate the people are to their jobs the more unprecedented idea they create. For example, Stevien Jops, the fiender and the owner of Apple co-operation, was so in love with his work feild. As a result, through out his talents and hard work, he was able to shift his company from unrecognised company to a world class leader in technological developments and computer system. In addition to creativity, performance enhancements is another aspect that why people should work in jobs they like. Given that people spend up to eight hours every day at their work site, work could be boring. In other word, people might feel exhausted and tired if they dislike their work tasks. In contrast, people who chooses to work in jobs that they like the most, tend to perform far better than those who are not. For instance, sales representatives who are advertise for their products with enthosim and passionate are more likely to achieve their target faster than those who are just advertise for the sake of work tasks. As a conclusio, we can safely say that even thought that people preform great if they choose to do the same work that their parents used to do, working at something you like augment people performance and creativity
In endeavor for stability and happiness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
carefully
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "jobs", the plural form of the noun 'job'?
jobes
that their parents have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are familiar with it, others prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that are completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In my opinion, depending on what they like or dislike,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Since most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their time at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that they are completely
Consider using a past participle here: "fulfilled".
fulfill
their satisfaction and passionate. Working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
field or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
position that we like increases our creativity and enhance our performance.

Working on subject or at position we like can increase our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
significantly
. A study have
been conducted
in the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
University Of California
indicated that the more passionate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
the more unprecedented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
they create.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stevien
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jops
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fiender
and the owner of Apple co-operation, was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
feild
.
As a result
,
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
his talents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, he was able to shift his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
from
Possible spelling mistake. 'unrecognised' is British English.
unrecognised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to a world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
leader in technological developments and computer system.

In addition
to creativity, performance enhancements is another aspect that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they like.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend up to eight hours every day at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
site,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
could be boring. In other word,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might feel exhausted and tired if they dislike their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tasks.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "choose"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
chooses
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that they like the most, tend to perform far better than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not.
For instance
, sales representatives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
Consider using a past participle here: "advertised".
advertise
for their products with
Possible spelling mistake found.
enthosim
and passionate are more likely to achieve their target faster than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
advertise for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tasks.

As a
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclusio
, we can
safely
say that even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preform great if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do, working at something you like augment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
performance and creativity
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for children to choose jobs that are simmiler to their parents' job than choose jobs that are very different from their parnents' jobs. Use specific resons and examples to support your answer. v. 194

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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