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Do you agree or disagree? It is more important for governments to spend money to improve internet access than to public transportation. v.184

It is more important for governments to spend money to improve internet access than to public transportation. v. 184
The governor is responsible for providing the proper condition for his citizens. The allocation of importance to the different civic occupation varies according to the demands of society. At this prompt, the author asserts that governments should give more emphasis to the internet connection rather than public transportation. This is the claim with which I generally do not concur. Among the countless reasons which give adherence to my viewpoint, I would list the most conspicuous ones in what follows. The first striking reason which should be considered is the impact factor of public transportation. Indeed, while the few people have access to the internet; lots of persons use public transportation. This fact is also verified by a noteworthy study conducted in the Sociology Department of the Tehran University in Iran. According to this intelligent research, approximate seventy-five percent of denizens in Iran use the public transportation system; meanwhile, merely thirty-five percent of people in Iran have access to the internet. In this condition, it is a sound option to give weight to the most popular item such as public transportation to satisfy the majority; rather than focusing on the small portion' s demand. Another equally crucial reason which should be highlighted here is the environmental issue. In another word, there is the enhancement of the environmental condition by the usage efficient type of transportation. It is obvious that transportation has a vital role in air pollution, by consideration of sustainable system, it can be handled effectively. A lucid example which could shed the spotlight on the issue is the alteration of the transportation system of Tabriz in the last decade. Previously, buses in Tabriz were belonged to fifty years ago, while produces 300cc CO2 pre-one-kilometer displacement, with the change of the buses in the last decade, this amount is halved. This is the one instance of a proper transportation system in the environment; and it has further impacts, which lead to a healthy and sustainable environment. Thus, it is important to focus on transportation rather than the internet. However, some people may believe that the internet also possesses a vital role in society which should not be neglected by the governor. Although this is the sound perspective, this group, in fact, underestimates a subtle fact which by the allocation of attention to the public voyage, the internet, and network access will not be ignored by leaders. As mentioned, each governor is responsible for various duties and focusing on one issue should not be considered as the ignorance of others. Otherwise, the governor will face failure during his leadership. To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons and facts explicitly illustrate that the governor should weigh the public transportation rather than the internet. Since it covers a wider range of people, it has a greater impact on society. Moreover, focusing on transportation should not be evaluated as the underestimation of the internet, since the governor is responsible for entire requirements.
The governor is responsible for providing the proper condition for his citizens. The allocation of importance to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
civic occupation varies according to the demands of society. At this prompt, the author asserts that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should give more emphasis to the internet connection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. This is the claim with which I
generally
do not concur. Among the countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which give adherence to my viewpoint, I would list the most conspicuous ones in what follows.

The
first
striking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which should
be considered
is the impact factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
Indeed
, while the few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to the internet; lots of persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
is
also
verified by a noteworthy study conducted in the Sociology Department of the Tehran University in Iran. According to this intelligent research, approximate seventy-five percent of denizens in Iran
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
; meanwhile,
merely
thirty-five percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Iran have access to the internet. In this condition, it is a sound option to give weight to the most popular item such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
to satisfy the majority;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than focusing on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
portion&
#039; s demand.

Another
equally
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which should
be highlighted
here is the environmental issue. In another word, there is the enhancement of the environmental condition by the usage efficient type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has a vital role in air pollution, by consideration of sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, it can
be handled
effectively
. A lucid example which could shed the spotlight on the issue is the alteration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of Tabriz in the last decade. Previously, buses in Tabriz
were belonged
to fifty years ago, while produces 300cc CO2
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-one-kilometer
displacement, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of the buses in the last decade, this amount
is halved
. This is the one instance of a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in the environment; and it has
further
impacts, which lead to a healthy and sustainable environment.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than the internet.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may believe that the internet
also
possesses a vital role in society which should not
be neglected
by the governor. Although this is the sound perspective, this group, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, underestimates a subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
which by the allocation of attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
voyage, the internet, and network access will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by leaders. As mentioned, each governor is responsible for various duties and focusing on one issue should not
be considered
as the ignorance of others.
Otherwise
, the governor will face failure during his leadership.

To wrap it up, all the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and facts
explicitly
illustrate that the governor should weigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than the internet. Since it covers a wider range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it has a greater impact on society.
Moreover
, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
should not
be evaluated
as the underestimation of the internet, since the governor is responsible for entire requirements.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay It is more important for governments to spend money to improve internet access than to public transportation. v. 184

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
489 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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