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Do you agree or disagree? Teachers in past have higher social values and people appreciated them even more than nowadays. v.176

Teachers in past have higher social values and people appreciated them even more than nowadays. v. 176
Without any doubts, teachers play an important role in our society. However, it seems that they have not suitable social level on our modern life. In this regret, I have to admit that I am in opinion of current teachers are not valued and appreciated than past. There are a couple of reasons in support of my view. I will elaborate my reasons in this essay and try to shed some light on my perspective through ample examples. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that nowadays this is universally believe that by advent of new technology and computer aid programs there is no need for real teachers. The story of my uncle could justify my reason. Couple years ago he bought a CD program which involved a considerable number of videos of class rooms, as a result, he dismiss the importance of her child' s teacher. To make a long story short, by accessing children and parents to new means of educating materials, they believe that time is arrive to traditionally ways of teaching on schools, hence, they decline teachers situation and social level. From another aspect we should bear in mind that moral concepts which should convey from generation to generation become less important ever than before. My personal anecdote will well demonstrate this point of view. My grandparents did not dedicate enough time to educate and tech well their children, hence, my parents' mind shape differently from their ancestors. Besides, they do not know the value of schooling and teaching; therefor, my parents do not appreciate teachers’ efforts. If these kind of behavior transform to me and my next generation, the consequence will be more decline in teachers’ social positions. The story above could shed some light on the reasons behind why teachers are less appreciated by society than past. Taken all aspects mentioned above into consideration, I am pretty convinced that there are a number of reasons why teachers' are not highly valued in our modern world such as followering of new technology which dismiss the importance of teachers. Meanwhile, there is another school of tough which believes teachers become more valued nowadays, due to the rise in number of university.
Without any doubts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our society.
However
, it seems that they have not suitable social level on our modern life. In this regret, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that I am in opinion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not valued and appreciated than past. There are a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
in support of my view. I will elaborate my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
in this essay and try to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on my perspective through ample examples.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that nowadays this is
universally
Consider using a past participle here: "believed".
believe
that by advent of new technology and computer aid programs there is no need for real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. The story of my uncle could justify my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. Couple years ago he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a CD program which involved a considerable number of videos of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
rooms,
as a result
, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "dismisses", "dismissed".
dismiss
the importance of her
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, by accessing children and parents to new means of educating materials, they believe that time is
Consider using a past participle here: "arrived".
arrive
to
traditionally
ways of teaching on schools,
hence
, they decline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
situation and social level.

From another aspect we should bear in mind that moral concepts which should convey from generation to generation become less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ever than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. My personal anecdote will well demonstrate this point of view. My grandparents did not dedicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to educate and tech well their children,
hence
, my
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; mind shape
differently
from their ancestors.
Besides
, they do not know the value of schooling and teaching; therefor, my parents do not appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
efforts. If
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of behavior transform to me and my
next
generation, the consequence will be more decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
social positions. The story above could shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are less appreciated by society than past.

Taken all aspects mentioned above into consideration, I am pretty convinced that there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachers&
#039; are not
highly
valued in our modern world such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
followering
of new technology which dismiss the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Meanwhile, there is another school of tough which believes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
become more valued nowadays, due to the rise in number of university.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Teachers in past have higher social values and people appreciated them even more than nowadays. v. 176

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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