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Do you agree or disagree? Teachers in past have higher social values and people appreciated them even more than nowadays. v.72

Teachers in past have higher social values and people appreciated them even more than nowadays. v. 72
These days, globalization creates a myriad of opportunities for young generations having access to a lot of kind of recreational activities around the world such as pop music or movies. That explains why some youngsters are inclined to like the international pop or movie pop or film starts more than those who have a great impact on the history of their country. This essay is going to discuss this view and have some solutions to alleviate this bias. There are two main reasons why some young people are keen on pop or picture stars more than famous historical persons of their nation. The first factor is that the appearance of celebrities happens with a higher frequency. For that reason, the young are easily exposed to songs which have catchy melodies of stars or know about heroic ones in blockbusters, so they are prone to idolize and form a thought that these famous ones are excellent models in order to follow. Another perceived ground is that the power of the internet also gives wings to disseminate news about the fame or talent of domestic or international artists. This creates a wide range of chances to feed young people with a great deal of information about their idols. On the other hand, there are some factors that help to grasp why historical people are not liked. Firstly, some lessons about historical events which students learn about in the schools are quite dull, and it is hard to remember dates, names and facts. Secondly, some young people have a tendency to form their own judgments that instead of learning or looking for information about those who sacrificed for their sovereignty and freedom, it is better to focus science or current affairs of their country and other nations. There are two main approaches to tackle these problems and help youngsters to fancy historical figures. The first technique is that governments can reform education systems in order to help students have more passion in learning history. For example, after studying, students can have some short trips to go to museums or monuments so as to promote the memory of events which happened in the past. A further solutions are to raise awareness of young people about the importance of historical persons and help them realize the great virtues of them in order to follow. To sum up, there are some reasons why the young are into pop music or flick stars more than famous historical persons of their state, and authorities should have more methods to deal with this problem. Therefore, youngsters can be interested in famous people from the history of their nation.
These days, globalization creates a myriad of opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations having access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
kind of recreational activities around the world such as pop music or movies. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters
are inclined
to like the international pop or movie pop or film
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
more than those who have a great impact on the history of their country. This essay is going to discuss this view and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to alleviate this bias.

There are two main reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen on pop or picture stars more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
persons of their nation. The
first
factor is that the appearance of celebrities happens with a higher frequency. For that reason, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are
easily
exposed to songs which have catchy melodies of stars or know about heroic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in blockbusters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are prone to idolize and form a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are excellent models in order to follow. Another perceived ground is that the power of the internet
also
gives wings to disseminate news about the fame or talent of domestic or international artists. This creates a wide range of chances to feed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a great deal of information about their idols.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to grasp why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not liked.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lessons about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which students learn about in the schools are quite dull, and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to remember dates, names and facts.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency to form their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
judgments that
instead
of learning or looking for information about those who sacrificed for their sovereignty and freedom, it is better to focus science or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs of their country and other nations.

There are two main approaches to tackle these problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
youngsters to fancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
figures. The
first
technique is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can reform education systems in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
students have more passion in learning history.
For example
, after studying, students can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
short trips to go to museums or monuments
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
promote the memory of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which happened in the past. A
further
solutions are to raise awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
persons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them realize the great virtues of them in order to follow.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are into pop music or flick stars more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
persons of their state, and authorities should have more methods to deal with this problem.
Therefore
, youngsters can
be interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the history of their nation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Teachers in past have higher social values and people appreciated them even more than nowadays. v. 72

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
439 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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