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176 Holidays honor people or events. If you could create a new holiday, what person or event would it honor and how would you want people to celebrate it? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer v.2

176 Holidays honor people or events. If you could create a new holiday, what person or event would it honor and how would you want people to celebrate it? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer v. 2
Indeed, holidays should respect memories and minds of prodigious historical events and remarkable characters related to the country, society, and culture. In fact, assigning a specific date in calendar to a particular event or a specific person is kind of respect and acceptance them. It means we want to follow and remind all virtues and values as to that date and person. However, in some cases, it is involved with political issues and government doesn' t accept to bear any memories of some historical events. For example, Big Kourush as king of Hakhamanesh realm has no a place in the current in calendar of Iran, although we know lots of valuable virtues, moralities attributed to Kourush and his dynasty. Kourush characters can be known through reminding his words on the yearly commemoration for Kroush. It is a significant way to get our young generations to know more about the past and history as well as Kourush' s character. He strongly believed in freedom and humanities for all people and various races. He was opposite of the slave holding and challenged with racial segregation. He promoted the peace and fraternity all around the lands which were under his authority. Therefore, he was conveying tremendous moral qualities which are really laudable and respectable. Having a date in the calendar causes people notice all remnants of the Hakhamesh realm which have no good situations now in Iran. Pasargad and Takhte Jamishid are two kinds of those historical places of Kourush' s period which are registered as universal treasure by UNICCO. If we had a date as a holiday in the calendar, people would get together on that date in the places remained from that period and it could have been a large motivation to be careful more toward those historical treasure and our descendants get more information about them or search on them to preservation those precious worth and wealth for the future. To the best to knowledge, the name of Kourush is empty in the calendar of Iran while in the whole of history his manner, attributes, and his words as a powerful and righteous king were well-known. His attempts in pursuit of liberty and freedom for everybody were considerable which is also obvious in history. He brought enormous glory and honor for our country at the time of his destiny and it is unfairness not to consider any days in name of Kourush in the calendar. With the dedication date to Kourush, at least one day in a year people try to remind all things about Kurush and make his soul alive in Iran.
Indeed
, holidays should respect memories and minds of prodigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and remarkable characters related to the country, society, and culture. In fact, assigning a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
date
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calendar
to a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
or a specific person is kind of respect and acceptance them. It means we want to follow and remind all virtues and values as to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
date
and person.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, it
is involved
with political issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t accept to bear any memories of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kourush
as king of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hakhamanesh
realm has
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
a place in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calendar
of Iran, although we know lots of valuable virtues, moralities attributed to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kourush
and his dynasty.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Kourush
characters can
be known
through reminding his words on the yearly commemoration for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kroush
. It is a significant way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
our young generations to know more about the past and history
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kourush&
#039; s character. He
strongly
believed in freedom and humanities for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and various races. He was opposite of the slave holding and challenged with racial segregation.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
promoted the peace and fraternity all around the lands which were under his authority.
Therefore
, he was conveying tremendous moral qualities which are
really
laudable and respectable.

Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
date
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calendar
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
notice all remnants of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hakhamesh
realm which have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in Iran.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pasargad
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Takhte
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jamishid
are two kinds of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kourush&
#039; s period which
are registered
as universal treasure by
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNICCO
. If we had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
date
as a holiday in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calendar
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
date
in the places remained from that period and it could have been a large motivation to be careful more toward those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
treasure and our descendants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information about them or search on them to preservation those precious worth and wealth for the future.

To the best to knowledge, the name of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kourush
is empty in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calendar
of Iran while in the whole of history his manner, attributes, and his words as a powerful and righteous king were well-known. His attempts in pursuit of liberty and freedom for everybody were considerable which is
also
obvious in history. He brought enormous glory and honor for our country at the time of his destiny and it is unfairness not to consider any days in name of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kourush
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calendar
. With the dedication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
date
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kourush
, at least one day in a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to remind all things about
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kurush
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his soul alive in Iran.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay 176 Holidays honor people or events. If you could create a new holiday, what person or event would it honor and how would you want people to celebrate it? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
433 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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