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Do you agree or disagree? It is more important to keep your old friends rather than making new friends. v.164

It is more important to keep your old friends rather than making new friends. v. 164
In today’s convoluted world, making friends is one of those issues considered as one of the indispensable parts of every individuals’ life. People need to establish relationships with different minds and thoughts to make their talents flourished. From my perspective, it is imperative to make new friends in the manifold juncture of life, and I have a couple of reasons to lend credence to this view. First and foremost, making new friend broaden people’s horizons, leading them to get mature through coping with others. It is crystal clear that people need to make friends with disparate characteristics and features to heighten their awareness about minds, which prepare them to get acquainted with different moods. So, this improves people’s capability to socialize with others more conveniently and have contributed considerably to the sense of collectivism in any given society. In this regard, It has been widely acknowledged that in more collective nations such as China and Japan, people are noticeably extroverted, conducting people to be considerate about their common goals such as eliminating the illiteracy across their country. Hence, well aware of the benefits of establishing relationships with different thoughts, individuals, in most developed countries, are encouraged to improve their communication skills to ameliorate the level of consideration about each other. Besides, making new friends opens miscellaneous opportunities for people, like finding a decent job or getting married as well. With no shadows of doubt, in this competitive world, people are inspired to expand their relations to fulfill their requirements in contact with different people. Though being intelligent and diligent, individuals cannot reach their goals without being able to make new relations. To be more elucidate, assume a person provided a decent job related to his capabilities in a multinational company. Only if that person has had the ability to establish relations with various people with different culture and backgrounds can be able to be accepted in the job interview of a top-tier multinational enterprise. Moreover, the ability to make and maintain a relationship with different thoughts cannot be gained fortuitous. It needs a great deal of time and years of dedication to strengthen these skills. Admittedly, with more cultural globalization and homogeneity, the significance of establishing relationships with the greater strata is inexpressible in words. In the final analysis, it is so beneficial for people to be able to make new friends with different people. This is because this helps them to be capable of communicating with various minds, and people are provided with more opportunities in their critical issues.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s convoluted world, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is one of those issues considered as one of the indispensable parts of every individuals’ life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
minds and thoughts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their talents flourished. From my perspective, it is imperative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in the manifold juncture of life, and I have a couple of reasons to lend credence to this view.

First
and foremost, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
horizons, leading them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mature through coping with others. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with disparate characteristics and features to heighten their awareness about minds, which prepare them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
moods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
capability to socialize with others more
conveniently
and have contributed
considerably
to the sense of collectivism in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
society. In this regard, It has been
widely
acknowledged that in more collective nations such as China and Japan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
noticeably
extroverted, conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be considerate about their common goals such as eliminating the illiteracy across their country.
Hence
, well aware of the benefits of establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
thoughts, individuals, in most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
are encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to ameliorate the level of consideration about each other.

Besides
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
opens miscellaneous opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, like finding a decent job or getting married
as well
. With no shadows of doubt, in this competitive world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inspired
to expand their relations to fulfill their requirements in contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Though being intelligent and diligent, individuals cannot reach their goals without being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
relations. To be more elucidate, assume a person provided a decent job related to his capabilities in a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
if that person has had the ability to establish relations with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
culture and backgrounds can be able to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in the job interview of a top-tier multinational enterprise.

Moreover
, the ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
and maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
thoughts cannot
be gained
fortuitous. It needs a great deal of time and years of dedication to strengthen these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Admittedly
, with more cultural globalization and homogeneity, the significance of establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
with the greater strata is inexpressible in words.

In the final analysis, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be capable of communicating with various minds, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are provided
with more opportunities in their critical issues.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important to keep your old friends rather than making new friends. v. 164

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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