Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Opening a new place such as shopping malls, food courts, or recreational areas brings several changes to the community. These businesses can be an underlying cause of the prosperity for any given society. Inaugurating a new restaurant in my neighborhood w v.2

Opening a new place such as shopping malls, food courts, or recreational areas brings several changes to the community. These businesses can be an underlying cause of the prosperity for any given society. Inaugurating a new restaurant in my neighborhood w v. 2
Opening a new place such as shopping malls, food courts, or recreational areas brings several changes to the community. These businesses can be an underlying cause of the prosperity for any given society. Inaugurating a new restaurant in my neighborhood would be beneficial, and in the following paragraphs, I lend credence to this view. First and foremost, a new restaurant will provide redeeming job opportunities for people living nearby. The new restaurant, which most of the time is the franchise of another brand, can be done with a lower level of experience. Even a college student or a teenager can manage to work in such kind of jobs. Carrying out a part-time job, young people can get independent of their family and stand on their own foot, providing them to earn money to fulfill their requirements such as tuition fees. Assume a freshman student suffering from the budget limitation occasionally and needs to take a loan for his university expenses. By opening a new restaurant nearby, he can accomplish a part-time vocation, helping him afford his university along with living costs; and he will be able to repay the loan on time. Therefore, he would be assigned a restaurant staff without requiring job experience. Admittedly, nothing is gratifying than being independent of the family for paying tuition fees, and opening a new restaurant would have far-reaching repercussions in different aspects of young people. Moreover, a new restaurant introduces other cultures to people not acquainted with. Nowadays, ethnic foods are noticeably popular among people wanting to try a unique, exciting taste, a trigger for getting familiar with other nations’ traditions. Also, trying new foods can be stimulating for curious people always seeking unique, novel experiences, creating nourishment for their sense of curiosity. A new Chinese restaurant located adjacent to the central park near my house have found a considerable number of advocates because of its healthy, organic foods. This business opens miscellaneous opportunities for other businesses related to the Chinese culture such as acupuncture healthcare center and herbal medicine store to be inaugurated, as the result of people’s desire to this culture introduced by that restaurant. In fact, not only did that restaurant makes nearby people familiar with Chinese culture, but it also led to the arena prosperity thanks to people’s demands for other Chinese businesses. In the final analysis, opening a new restaurant can be beneficial for individuals living in its neighborhood. This is because young people would be provided with new job opportunities, and this business can be a reason for getting familiar with other cultures through ethnic foods.
Opening a
new
place such as shopping malls,
food
courts, or recreational areas brings several
changes
to the community. These
businesses
can be an underlying cause of the prosperity for any
given
society. Inaugurating a
new
restaurant
in my neighborhood would be beneficial, and in the following paragraphs, I lend credence to this view.

First
and foremost, a
new
restaurant
will provide redeeming
job
opportunities for
people
living nearby. The
new
restaurant
, which most of the time is the franchise of another brand, can
be done
with a lower level of experience. Even a college student or a
teenager
can manage to work in such kind of
jobs
. Carrying out a part-time
job
, young
people
can
get
independent of their family and stand on their
own
foot, providing them to earn money to fulfill their requirements such as tuition fees. Assume a freshman student suffering from the budget limitation
occasionally
and needs to take a loan for his university expenses. By opening a
new
restaurant
nearby, he can accomplish a part-time vocation, helping him afford his university along with living costs; and he will be able to repay the loan on time.
Therefore
, he would
be assigned
a
restaurant
staff without requiring
job
experience.
Admittedly
, nothing is
gratifying
than being independent of the family for paying tuition fees, and opening a
new
restaurant
would have far-reaching repercussions in
different
aspects of young
people
.

Moreover
, a
new
restaurant
introduces
other
cultures
to
people
not acquainted with. Nowadays, ethnic
foods
are
noticeably
popular among
people
wanting to try a unique, exciting taste, a trigger for getting familiar with
other
nations’ traditions.
Also
, trying
new
foods
can be stimulating for curious
people
always seeking unique, novel experiences, creating nourishment for their sense of curiosity. A
new
Chinese
restaurant
located adjacent to the
central park
near my
house
have found a considerable number of advocates
because
of its healthy, organic
foods
. This
business
opens miscellaneous opportunities for
other
businesses
related to the Chinese
culture
such as acupuncture healthcare center and herbal medicine store to
be inaugurated
, as the result of
people’s
desire to this
culture
introduced by that
restaurant
. In fact, not
only
did that
restaurant
makes
nearby
people
familiar with Chinese
culture
,
but
it
also
led to the arena prosperity thanks to
people’s
demands for
other
Chinese businesses.

In the final analysis, opening a
new
restaurant
can be beneficial for individuals living in its neighborhood. This is
because
young
people
would
be provided
with
new
job
opportunities, and this
business
can be a reason for getting familiar with
other
cultures
through ethnic
foods
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Opening a new place such as shopping malls, food courts, or recreational areas brings several changes to the community. These businesses can be an underlying cause of the prosperity for any given society. Inaugurating a new restaurant in my neighborhood w v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
430 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts