Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

do you agree or disagree? the rules that the whole society today expect young people to follow are too strict. v.139

the rules that the whole society today expect young people to follow are too strict. v. 139
The question is whether society' s rules are very rigid for the young people in compared with the past or not. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement, for instance, some people believe that nowadays poor youths have to follow determined strict rules by government and others claim that young beings usually have much freedom in a comparison with the past, so I am unanimous with the second group. The following paragraphs will vastly elucidate my vantage point through three noticeable reasons: To begin with, today' s there are a great number of shifts in communities such as cultural, economic and social changes. One of the most important alterations in world is that religious beliefs and thoughts have declined and unlike the past, the churches or monks are not able to affect societies significantly; hence, the young people can choose their favorite cloth or hair style or even they are free in selecting a wide range of music or movies. To elucidate, take my father experience. He mentions that at his time, the government did not allow the youths to wear jeans or colorful T-shirts. In short, the young suffered from such the restrictions in the pest eras. In addition, one should not forget that the psychology science has recently developed in the world; therefore, the psychologists continually publish their new achievements in related to the most appropriate behavior with young people. The overwhelming majority of researchers in this field contend that establishing the least limitation for young humans may cause the community to involve with destructive consequences such as rebellion or suicide thoughts. Furthermore, as the old saying goes" when freedom is eliminated from country, as a matter a fact, people will be encouraged to gain it for any price" . Briefly, the country will confront social norms. Finally, I tend to empower my arguments with following discussion. An important phenomenon which is called “brains fugitive" , has taken stem in recent years in the world. Based on it, whenever the youths acquire uncomfortable and stress feeling associated with the strict rules, they will quit the country, so the government should notice that migration of young people can provide negative impacts on society' s prosperity. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that I strongly disagree that young people have restricted with strict rules because made changes in the world and countries have facilitated the life circumstances for the young and the states try to provide a peaceful bed for them.
The question is whether
Possible spelling mistake found.
society&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rigid for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in compared with the past or not. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that nowadays poor youths
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow determined strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
beings
usually
have much freedom in a comparison with the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am unanimous with the second group. The following paragraphs will
vastly
elucidate my vantage point through three noticeable reasons:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s there are a great number of shifts in communities such as cultural, economic and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
alterations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is that religious beliefs and thoughts have declined and unlike the past, the churches or monks are not able to affect societies
significantly
;
hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose their favorite cloth or hair style or even they are free in selecting a wide range of music or movies. To elucidate, take my father experience. He mentions that at his time, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the youths to wear jeans or colorful T-shirts. In short, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
suffered from such the restrictions in the pest eras.

In addition
, one should not forget that the psychology science has recently developed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
;
therefore
, the psychologists
continually
publish their new achievements in related to the most appropriate behavior with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The overwhelming majority of researchers in this field contend that establishing the least limitation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
humans may cause the community to involve with destructive consequences such as rebellion or suicide thoughts.
Furthermore
, as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying
Possible spelling mistake found.
goes&quot
; when freedom
is eliminated
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, as a matter a fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be encouraged
to gain it for any
Possible spelling mistake found.
price&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Briefly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will confront social norms.

Finally
, I tend to empower my arguments with following discussion. An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
phenomenon which
is called
“brains
Possible spelling mistake found.
fugitive&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
has taken stem in recent years in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Based on it, whenever the youths acquire uncomfortable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
feeling associated with the strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, they will quit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should notice that migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
Possible spelling mistake found.
society&
#039; s prosperity.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
that I
strongly
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have restricted with strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have facilitated the life circumstances for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and the states try to provide a peaceful bed for them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay the rules that the whole society today expect young people to follow are too strict. v. 139

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
422 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts