Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

do you agree or disagree? the rules that the whole society today expect young people to follow are too strict. v.38

the rules that the whole society today expect young people to follow are too strict. v. 38
It is understandable that a usable freshwater has been a restricted resource in some countries around the world. However, the requirement of using natural water has grown from the past until now and become a worldwide problem. Therefore, some causes and solutions to these issues will be discussed. The first cause to consider is that demanding of water resources is used for human consumption. This issue comes from urban and rural communities requiring water for drinking, sanitation and drainage. Particularly, most people ultimately consume 3, 000 litres of water per day, according to the Ted-Ed video. Moreover, the majority of people spend water in an additional area, especially in their households for cooking and gardening. However, sensible solutions have been put forward to address the problems. People must limit indoor and outdoor uses of water individually, such as reducing washing garments, decreasing watering gardens, and cutting down washing cars. Therefore, these activities allow people to reduce water uses. Moreover, a further aspect of increasing water utilization is agricultural sectors. Agriculture withdraws the natural resources from rivers and ocean to maintain crops on the land and other products on the farm. This accounted for 70% of all water that is used in every area. Notably, requesting for water during drought period enhance the overall water operation on land. Furthermore, the booming demand for livestock products has escalated the demand for water from time to time. There are potential ways to tackle problems. To avoid over-watering crops, farmers carefully monitor the weather forecast and adapt their irrigation schedule to the current conditions. Actually, the government should create an embankment for farmers to capture rainfall for use in the farming land throughout the year. Consequently, they possibly have long term products in the field. For the reasons mentioned above, it can be concluded that natural water is extremely vital resources for everyone. With this reason, the demand for water is increasing and turn into global issues. Although water consumption is a serious issue, there are steps that governments and individuals are able to reduce the problems.
It is understandable that a usable freshwater has been a restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries around the world.
However
, the requirement of using natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has grown from the past until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and become a worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes and solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
will
be discussed
.

The
first
cause to consider is that demanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for human consumption. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from urban and rural communities requiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for drinking, sanitation and drainage.
Particularly
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ultimately
consume 3, 000
Possible spelling mistake. 'litres' is British English.
litres
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
per day, according to the Ted-Ed video.
Moreover
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in an additional area,
especially
in their households for cooking and gardening.
However
, sensible solutions have
been put
forward to address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
limit indoor and outdoor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
individually
, such as reducing washing garments, decreasing watering gardens, and cutting down washing cars.
Therefore
, these activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
.

Moreover
, a
further
aspect of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
utilization is agricultural sectors. Agriculture withdraws the natural resources from rivers and ocean to maintain crops on the land and other products on the farm. This accounted for 70% of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in every area.
Notably
, requesting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
during drought period enhance the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
operation on land.
Furthermore
, the booming demand for livestock products has escalated the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from time to time. There are potential ways to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. To avoid over-watering crops, farmers
carefully
monitor the weather forecast and adapt their irrigation schedule to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
conditions. Actually, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create an embankment for farmers to capture rainfall for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the farming land throughout the year.
Consequently
, they
possibly
have long term products in the field.

For the reasons mentioned above, it can
be concluded
that natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
extremely
vital resources for everyone. With this reason, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is increasing and turn into global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption is a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, there are steps that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay the rules that the whole society today expect young people to follow are too strict. v. 38

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts