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TPO 32. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people today have no influence on the important decisions that determine the future of society as a whole. v.2

TPO 32. Young people today have no influence on the important decisions that determine the future of society as a whole. v. 2
In all the societies, the decisions which are made by governments and elites determine the destiny of the community. All people are concerned about those decisions because it makes their future. Now, there is a controversy on whether young people have any influence on the important decisions or not. In my way of thinking youth have an important effect on the policies of governments because not only do they are concerned about their future, but also they are the strongest category of the society. The first reason which should be stated here is that young people are cautious about their future. Any particular decision and policy can destroy their future. As it is obvious, in any social activities like protests, conferences, speeches, and so on, the most major group are youth. They incorporate it politic and economic gatherings due to increasing their knowledge and sharing their own ideas with the politicians. Also, the scientists and technicians in the universities are youth who their ability cause the social progression. Most of the made decision is based on these abilities, so it is not true to say they have not influence in the decisions. The other point with deserves some words here is that the youth are the strongest group in the society. Any community consists of various age groups; children, teenager, youth, middle age, and old. among those groups, youths are the most powerful, physically and thoughtfully. Follow these features, definitely, they have the most influences. The younger groups are not mature enough to incorporate in the government' s activities, and the older group have lost most of their energy. Therefore, the youth determine whether any decision is right or not. To summarize, youth have considerable influences of the communities. They are aware of the future and concerned about the works that will affect it, so they try to make them better due to having a better future. The most strong group of people are youth, they are the university' s students whom their ability determine the government' s policy.
In all the societies, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
which
are made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and elites determine the destiny of the community. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
about those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, there is a controversy on whether young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
or not. In my way of thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
effect on the policies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they
are concerned
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are the strongest category of the society.

The
first
reason which should
be stated
here is that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are cautious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Any particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and policy can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. As it is obvious, in any social activities like protests, conferences, speeches, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, the most major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
. They incorporate it politic and economic gatherings due to increasing their knowledge and sharing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with the politicians.
Also
, the scientists and technicians in the universities are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
who their ability
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "causes".
cause
the social progression. Most of the made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is based
on these abilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not true to say they have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "influenced".
influence
in the decisions.

The other point with deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words here is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are the strongest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in the society. Any community consists of various age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
; children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
, middle age, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
among
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, youths are the most powerful,
physically
and
thoughtfully
. Follow these features, definitely, they have the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
. The younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to incorporate in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
government&
#039; s activities, and the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
have lost most of their energy.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
determine whether any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is right or not.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
have considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
of the communities. They are aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and concerned about the works that will affect it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them better due to having a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This adjective uses the short comparatives form.
The most strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
, they are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
university&
#039; s students whom their ability determine the
Possible spelling mistake found.
government&
#039; s policy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 32. Young people today have no influence on the important decisions that determine the future of society as a whole. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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