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Do you agree or disagree? Primary school teachers should not give children (5-10) assignments more than 30 minutes, because there are enough instructions to learn in regular school classes. v.135

Primary school teachers should not give children (5-10) assignments more than 30 minutes, because there are enough instructions to learn in regular school classes. v. 135
In recent years, the competition of education is becoming so fierce that even children in primary school have no alternative but to face the heavy pressure of the study. However, I believe that it is unnecessary for students to do too much homework after school, and the total time spent on assignments should be no more than 30 minutes. I feel this for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, it is inappropriate for teachers to assign excessive assignments to students. Both physically and psychologically, children are not capable to bear the overwhelming workload of study. Because children at a young age have a limited attention span, they would feel difficult to concentrate on finishing the homework for more than 30 minutes at night and the low learning efficiency would discourage their study interest as well. Moreover, doing over 30 minutes of homework means excessive use of eyes and a long-hour sedentary position which would harm the children' s health in the long run, causing short eyesight and physical illness. For instance, being too told to study for extra hours after school, students usually have to spend more time recovering from the tiredness. Besides, the time spent in school during the day is enough for kids to master what had been taught since the knowledge that students are quired to impart is limited in primary school. Secondly, the time at night should be used on meaningful activities rather than doing homework. Owing to nature, primary school students are fond of exercise, game, and company from their parents. These activities are essential for the mental development of kids. For example, playing chess is an excellent choice to spent the night hours. Kids can not only improve their intelligence unconsciously but also enhance their relationship between parents through interaction. Exercise is another choice to satisfy children’s nature in which they can promote their physical strength and release the study pressure. Therefore, by spending time on meaningful choices, parents can ensure their children’s mental and physical development which are very important in their future life. In conclusion, I claim that the children should not spend more than 30 minutes on assignment and use precious time at night on activities that benefit their mental and physical health.
In recent years, the competition of education is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
fierce that even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have no alternative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to face the heavy pressure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
However
, I believe that it is unnecessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on assignments should be no more than 30 minutes. I feel this for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is inappropriate for teachers to assign excessive assignments to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Both
physically
and
psychologically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not capable to bear the overwhelming workload of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a young age have a limited attention span, they would feel difficult to concentrate on finishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
for more than 30 minutes at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
and the low learning efficiency would discourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
interest
as well
.
Moreover
, doing over 30 minutes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
means excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of eyes and a long-hour sedentary position which would harm the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s health in the long run, causing short eyesight and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
illness.
For instance
, being too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for extra hours after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
recovering from the tiredness.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
during the day is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for kids to master what had
been taught
since the knowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
quired
to impart
is limited
in primary school.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on meaningful activities
rather
than doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
. Owing to nature, primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are fond of exercise, game, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
from their parents. These activities are essential for the mental development of kids.
For example
, playing chess is an excellent choice
Did you mean "to spend"?
to spent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
hours. Kids can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their intelligence
unconsciously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhance their relationship between parents through interaction. Exercise is another choice to satisfy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
nature in which they can promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength and release the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
pressure.
Therefore
, by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on meaningful choices, parents can ensure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
mental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
development which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in their future life.

In conclusion
, I claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not spend more than 30 minutes on assignment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
on activities that benefit their mental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Primary school teachers should not give children (5-10) assignments more than 30 minutes, because there are enough instructions to learn in regular school classes. v. 135

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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