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do you agree or disagree? ? the young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will choose in the long term. v.127

? the young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will choose in the long term. v. 127
The question is whether a person should try a wide range of jobs before choosing the main career for future or not. Everyone with regard to his private view point and abilities may maintain a specific direction toward this statement, however, based on a done research by sociologists, some believe attempting for several career can be kind of waste of time while others claim experiencing such great opportunities provides a huge number of merits for the young. It should be confessed that I am unanimous with the latter group, so the next paragraphs will vastly elucidate my vantage point through three noticeable reasons: To begin with, when one makes effort to work in a variety of occupations, as a matter a fact, he will be involved in new and different challenges. Overcoming and adapting such hard conditions will cause the mentioned person boost his personal skills. One should not forget that confronting with a great number of challenges can help employees to gain a deep understand about themselves that in what work they act better or in what skill they are weak. With having a total view, the young will be able to select the best choice based on their abilities. The second reason for my argument lies the reality is that when people experience diverse types of jobs, they have an opportunity to compare their income with the cost of their life. It can be said that one the biggest problems in the modern world which is wrestling economic crisis, is that human beings would manage their financial matters such as tuition fee of universities, bills, rents and loans and list goes on. Such great circumstance can assist living beings to make decision which job is appropriate for supplying the costs of their life. Moreover, working in different situations can add a lot of worthwhile experiences to the young people' s resume. Nowadays, the most companies prefer to hire employees who have several crafts instead of an employee with lack of skill. Nobody could overlook this fact that today' s any company or factory does not like to invest on someone with low quality of crafts and knowledge because he can make a huge number of errors. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that advantages of working in various type of careers outweigh its disadvantages because this position can prepare the young to decide logically about their long-term job with total perspective.
The question is whether a person should try a wide range of
jobs
before
choosing the main career for future or not. Everyone with regard to his private view point and abilities may maintain a specific direction toward this statement,
however
, based on a done research by sociologists,
some
believe attempting for
several career
can be kind of waste of time while others claim experiencing such great opportunities provides a huge number of merits for the
young
. It should
be confessed
that I am unanimous with the latter group,
so
the
next
paragraphs will
vastly
elucidate my vantage point through three noticeable reasons:

To
begin
with, when one
makes
effort to work in a variety of occupations, as a matter a fact, he will
be involved
in new and
different
challenges. Overcoming and adapting such
hard
conditions will cause the mentioned person boost his personal
skills
. One should not forget that confronting with a great number of challenges can
help
employees to gain a deep understand about themselves that in what work they act better or in what
skill
they are weak. With having a total view, the
young
will be able to select the best choice based on their abilities.

The second reason for my argument lies the reality is that when
people
experience diverse types of
jobs
, they have an opportunity to compare their income with the cost of their life. It can
be said
that one the biggest problems in the modern world which is wrestling economic crisis, is that human beings would manage their financial matters such as tuition fee of universities, bills, rents and loans and list goes on. Such great circumstance can assist living beings to
make
decision which
job
is appropriate for supplying the costs of their life.

Moreover
, working in
different
situations can
add
a lot of
worthwhile experiences to the
young
people&
#039; s resume. Nowadays, the most
companies
prefer to hire employees who have several crafts
instead
of an employee with lack of
skill
. Nobody could overlook this fact that
today&
#039; s any
company
or factory does not like to invest on someone with low quality of crafts and knowledge
because
he can
make
a huge number of errors.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
that advantages of working in various type of careers outweigh its disadvantages
because
this position can prepare the
young
to decide
logically


about
their long-term
job
with total perspective.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay ? the young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will choose in the long term. v. 127

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
405 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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