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do you agree or disagree? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. v.123

Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. v. 123
The question is whether technology has made children less creative than they were in the past or not. In existence of massive devices have been made in recent years, it can be said that spontaneously the effects of these inventions will be observed on children' s life. In regard to this point, I believe that excessive use of technology harms to social and physical activity of children. My arguments and reasons are listed below that will strengthen my point of view: To begin with, it is axiomatic that technology plays a crucial role in modern life in a spread spectrum. The variety of the laptops, the smart phones and the tablets and so on, will be caused children to become less creative. I ponder that the advanced tools deprive children from thinking. To elucidate, when I was a kid because of absence the technology, me and my friends were curious about our surrounding. Flying was an incredible dream for us; hence our efforts were always toward discovering a way for taking off from ground, although those endeavors were unsuccessful, but our mind was in a fresh mood. The second reason why I advocate this point of view lies in the fact that the computers and other things related with them avoid children from society. It is an undeniable fact that being in community will improve children' s interpersonal skills. Meeting a lot of people will provide an opportunity for children to make new friends and subsequently new groups. One of the most salient objectives of a group is that children with different backgrounds share their ideas with each other, consequently creative ideas can originate. The final reason for this consent is that the technology increases numb and torpid feeling among children who are addicted to it. Nobody could overlook this fact that a healthy mind can act better than an idle mind. In this circumstance how we would expect to foster children with high quality. The main culprit of this story is our performance. If we do not allow them to use technology exceedingly, this problem will solve. By taking all above mentioned reasons, the following conclusion could be drawn from this issue. On the one hand Technology provides a lethargy bed for children; on the other one it takes the chance of having a creative mind from them.
The question is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
than they were in the past or not. In existence of massive devices have
been made
in recent years, it can
be said
that
spontaneously
the effects of these inventions will
be observed
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s life. In regard to this point, I believe that excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
harms to social and physical activity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. My arguments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are listed
below that will strengthen my point of view:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is axiomatic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a crucial role in modern life in a spread spectrum. The variety of the laptops, the smart phones and the tablets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, will
be caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
. I ponder that the advanced tools deprive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from thinking. To elucidate, when I was a kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of absence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, me and my friends were curious about our surrounding. Flying was an incredible dream for us;
hence
our efforts were always toward discovering a way for taking off from ground, although those endeavors were unsuccessful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
was in a fresh mood.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I advocate this point of view lies in the fact that the computers and other things related with them avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from society. It is an undeniable fact that being in community will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Meeting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and
subsequently
new groups. One of the most salient objectives of a group is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with each other,
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
can originate.

The final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this consent is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
increases numb and torpid feeling among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are addicted
to it. Nobody could overlook this fact that a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
can act better than an idle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. In this circumstance how we would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with high quality. The main culprit of this story is our performance. If we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
exceedingly
, this problem will solve.

By taking all above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, the following conclusion could
be drawn
from this issue. On the one hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
provides a lethargy bed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
; on the other one it takes the chance of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
from them.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. v. 123

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
389 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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