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Do you agree or disagree with this sentence? workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v.9

with this sentence? workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v. 9
The question is whether workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long or not. In my perspective, this type of view to work is very logical because it can provide some benefits for workers at least it can help them to evade from lethargy. In my arguments and reasons are listed as below that will strengthen my point of view: First of all, having different task can improve workers' performance. When workers do a variation of duties, spontaneously a missive of new experiences will add to employees. This will help them to broaden their knowledge base of work; hence workmen will be able to create creative ideas related with their tasks. Second, companies and factories will obtain a lot of profits because of working employees in diversities sectors. When a worker works in different parts of a factory, he never confront with a torpid or lethargy feeling, consequently a workman has a positive energy can raise up quality of his work and reduce his errors. Companies need to such workmen with high spirit because they will not be forced to spend a lot of money for treating of labors' depression. Third, working in different sectors will boost workmen' s interpersonal skills. Since they would meet various types of personality in several parts, subsequently they make new friends for themselves; therefore can share some of their entertainment with each other in out of the place of work. As I have illustrated, working in different parts gives an opportunity to workers to gain worthwhile experiences. It not only helps them to have a healthy mind and soul, but also it can prepare them to adapt to harder tasks in society and different jobs.
The question is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are more satisfied when they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
to do during the workday than when they do similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
all day long or not. In my perspective, this type of view to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
logical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
at least it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to evade from lethargy. In my arguments and reasons
are listed
as below that will strengthen my point of view:

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
workers&
#039; performance. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
do a variation of duties,
spontaneously
a missive of new experiences will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to employees. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to broaden their knowledge base of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
;
hence
workmen will be able to create creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
related with their tasks.

Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and factories will obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
profits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of working employees in diversities sectors. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
works in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of a factory, he never
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "confronts", "confronted".
confront
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
with


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
torpid or lethargy feeling,
consequently
a workman has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
energy can raise up quality of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
his errors.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
need to such workmen with high spirit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not
be forced
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for treating of
Possible spelling mistake found.
labors&
#039; depression.

Third, working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sectors will boost
Possible spelling mistake found.
workmen&
#039; s interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Since they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
various types of personality in several parts,
subsequently
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends for themselves;
therefore
can share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their entertainment with each other in out of the place of work.

As I have illustrated, working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts gives an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to gain worthwhile experiences. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have a healthy mind and soul,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can prepare them to adapt to harder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
in society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
jobs.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay with this sentence? workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v. 9

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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