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advanced in transportation and communication like the airplane and the telephone have changed the way that the nation interact with each other in a global society. choose another technological innovation that you think is important give specific reasons v.2

advanced in transportation and communication like the airplane and the telephone have changed the way that the nation interact with each other in a global society. choose another technological innovation that you think is important give specific reasons v. 2
When it comes to the issue of technology many people may agree with this statement and give us sound reasons for their beliefs. On the other hand, some other people might disagree with this idea and have different opinions. Also those opponents probably could provide us with strong purposes to support their thoughts. I believe that technology is a great idea because there so many reasons support my point of view. This short essay will demonstrate some points regarding this issue in the following paragraphs. First, from my point of view, i think computer is the most useful innovation, it' s the most important technology in the world. There is many advantages in computer. For instance, computer helps many people to achieve their business all over the world. Therefore, making conferences and meetings on the computer gives people the chance for staying in their country instead of traveling. Second, many uses have been discovered in computer. For example, when you want to make a reservation for hotel or restaurant for important event, instead of making a call and waiting for minutes to talk with the customer services, you can only open the website of the hotel you want to go and make your reservation. This technology helped many people to save their time and give peoples their demands. Therefore, sending an email to someone else or to a company will be easier on the computer. Writers prefer using computer to focus on their writing as they need to spend more time to write their stories. Third, nowadays, many advance computers are appeared with touch screens and suitable size that you can hold wherever you go just like phones. I prefer using computer because it will give you a larger screen so it won' t hurts your eyes with the small letters that we are using on our phones, larger keyboard so you can type easily. It will facilitate the communication between peoples who are living in a different continents and allow them to see each other' s on the large screen. Computers prices more differs from before, because it consider as a highly desirable technology. Conclusion, computer has influences people' s daily life. Makes everything easy to interact, attend important conferences and meeting. They have made it cheaper and easier to exchange information' s, and have changed the way that the nation interact with each other in a global society.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
us sound reasons for their beliefs. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
those opponents
probably
could provide us with strong purposes to support their thoughts. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons support my point of view. This short essay will demonstrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points regarding this issue in the following paragraphs.

First
, from my point of view,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
computer is the most useful innovation,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the world. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in computer.
For instance
, computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve their business all over the world.
Therefore
, making conferences and meetings on the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the chance for staying in their country
instead
of traveling.

Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
have
been discovered
in computer.
For example
, when you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a reservation for hotel or restaurant for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
,
instead
of making a call and waiting for minutes to talk with the customer services, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
open the website of the hotel you want to go and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your reservation. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save their time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
their demands.
Therefore
, sending an email to someone else or to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will be easier on the computer. Writers prefer using computer to focus on their writing as they need to spend more time to write their stories.

Third, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advance computers
are appeared
with touch screens and suitable size that you can hold wherever you go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like phones. I prefer using computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
you a larger screen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t hurts your eyes with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
letters that we are using on our phones, larger keyboard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can type
easily
. It will facilitate the communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
who are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
continents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s on the large screen.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "computer prices".
Computers prices
more differs from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "considers"?
consider
as a
highly
desirable technology.

Conclusion, computer has influences
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s daily life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Makes
everything easy to interact, attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
conferences and meeting. They have made it cheaper and easier to exchange
Possible spelling mistake found.
information&
#039; s, and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way that the nation interact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in a global society.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay advanced in transportation and communication like the airplane and the telephone have changed the way that the nation interact with each other in a global society. choose another technological innovation that you think is important give specific reasons v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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