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do you agree or disagree? from high school students should be required to take basic economic courses. v.107

from high school students should be required to take basic economic courses. v. 107
The question is whether all of high school students must be required to take basic economic courses or not. Everyone with regard to his private perspective may maintain a specific direction toward this statement. Some believe it can be should better for students' future if they have fundamental knowledge about economic matters while others find the mentioned suggestion waste of time and students should spend and focus their time on math or health courses. I am unanimous with the first group because such a great course is able to provide some merits for achieving prosperity, so the next paragraphs will vastly elucidate my vantage point through three salient reasons: To begin with, nobody could overlook this fact that world has changed and unfortunately it confronts economic crises. For solving the aforementioned trouble or at least for coping with it, people should make effort to gain an acceptable knowledge about economic science such as the concepts of export or import, recognizing the constructive or destructive aspects of trade or looking for the best approaches to reinforce the business and list goes on. One should not forget that having such a brilliant understanding will give students an opportunity to increase their needed public information about economy of their society. The second reason for my arguments lies the reality that high school students are usually involved to choose the most beneficial field for studying in the university; hence, it can be very crucial for them to evaluate all dimensions of financial a study filed in the future. With knowing the answers of questions such as do this field can improve the country' s economy or how much money will be enough for paying rents, bills or even do I can manage and support my family' s economy and so on, students will be able to obtain a total view for selecting the most effective field. Moreover, economic courses can optimize interpersonal skills among the young people. After taking the mentioned course, the youths will attempt to practice the instructions which have been tendered in the class by their teacher. In such a great condition, they will learn to manage their saving for rainy days or invest the money which they could have obtained through their part-time job in different ways. With following this method, the students' personality will be independent. Take my own experience, in the high school, my economic teacher gave us some piece of advice about appropriate using of our money, then, I put my money in the bank and with getting some loans, I could double my saving during a short time. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that it has to be asked from students to participate in economic classes if they want to guarantee their future and broaden their knowledge base about economic issues.
The question is whether
Consider using "all high" or "all of the high".
all of high
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be required
to take basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
or not. Everyone with regard to his private perspective may maintain a specific direction toward this statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe it can be should better for
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; future if they have fundamental knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
matters while others find the mentioned suggestion waste of time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should spend and focus their time on math or health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. I am unanimous with the
first
group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is able to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits for achieving prosperity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
next
paragraphs will
vastly
elucidate my vantage point through three salient reasons:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nobody could overlook this fact that world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and unfortunately it confronts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
crises. For solving the aforementioned trouble or at least for coping with it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effort to gain an acceptable knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
science such as the concepts of export or import, recognizing the constructive or destructive aspects of trade or looking for the best approaches to reinforce the business and list goes on. One should not forget that having such a brilliant understanding will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
an opportunity to increase their needed public information about economy of their society.

The second reason for my arguments lies the reality that high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
usually
involved to choose the most beneficial field for studying in the university;
hence
, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for them to evaluate all dimensions of financial a study filed in the future. With knowing the answers of questions such as do this field can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s economy or how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for paying rents, bills or even do I can manage and support my
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s economy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be able to obtain a total view for selecting the most effective field.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can optimize interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
among the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. After taking the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, the youths will attempt to practice the instructions which have
been tendered
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
by their teacher. In such a great condition, they will learn to manage their saving for rainy days or invest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which they could have obtained through their part-time job in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. With following this method, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; personality will be independent. Take my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, in the high school, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
teacher gave us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
piece of advice about appropriate using of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, then, I put my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the bank and with getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
loans, I could double my saving during a short time.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
that it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be asked
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
classes if they want to guarantee their future and broaden their knowledge base about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
issues.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay from high school students should be required to take basic economic courses. v. 107

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
468 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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