Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In today's world of advanced science and technology, people still value artists such as painters, musicians, and writers. How can art make a difference in our society that science and technology cannot? v.3

In today's world of advanced science and technology, people still value artists such as painters, musicians, and writers. How can art make a difference in our society that science and technology cannot? v. 3
Although science and technology are popular these days, but they have their own position. In other words, artists are respectable even though our life is changed. This essay discusses some different attitudes to art and artists in comparison to technology. Our surrounding atmosphere tends to be changed nowadays. However, it seems to me that painters, musicians, writers, and some related art are common in spite of up to date world. There is some reason why they are still as important as modern sciences. Firstly, I think art is an instinct. For instance, human being enjoys nature such as singing birds, the voice of water, there are to name but a few. On the other hand, when you are visiting a beautiful painting not only you could feel cheerful, but also you would relax mentally even though you do not have enough knowledge about that. Reading the novel works of a famous writer will be enjoyable if you read it carefully. So, art has its own place. We must admit science and progressive equipment are useful but not enough. Regards to recent researches, human have two aspects, Although, modern things such as laptop, cell-phone, nuclear power and things like that will be useful if the government legislate proper rules for using them, but they never are satisfied you similar to a piece of music or a beautiful landscape. So, both of them are necessary. In summary, a human being as a creature should be taken care of their spirit as well as their body. If we strength both sides of ourselves contemporarily, we will enjoy a lot and experience a successful standard of living.
Although science and technology are popular these days,
but
they have their
own
position.
In other words
, artists are respectable
even though
our life is
changed
. This essay discusses
some
different
attitudes to
art
and artists
in comparison
to technology.

Our surrounding atmosphere tends to be
changed
nowadays.
However
, it seems to me that painters, musicians, writers, and
some
related
art
are common
in spite of
up to date world. There is
some
reason why they are
still
as
important
as modern sciences.
Firstly
, I
think
art
is an instinct.
For instance
, human being enjoys nature such as singing birds, the voice of water, there are to name
but
a few.
On the other hand
, when you are visiting a
beautiful
painting not
only
you could feel cheerful,
but
also
you would relax mentally
even though
you do not have
enough
knowledge about that. Reading the novel works of a
famous
writer will be enjoyable if you read it
carefully
.
So
,
art
has its
own
place.

We
must
admit science and progressive equipment are useful
but
not
enough
. Regards to recent researches, human have two aspects, Although, modern things such as laptop, cell-phone, nuclear power and things like that will be useful if the
government
legislate proper
rules
for using them,
but
they never
are satisfied
you similar to a piece of music or a
beautiful
landscape.
So
, both of them are necessary.

In summary, a human being as a creature should
be taken
care of their spirit
as well
as their body. If
we strength
both sides of ourselves
contemporarily
, we will enjoy a lot and experience a successful standard of living.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In today's world of advanced science and technology, people still value artists such as painters, musicians, and writers. How can art make a difference in our society that science and technology cannot? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts