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College students should be required to take basic economics courses, even though their majors are not economics. v.1

College students should be required to take basic economics courses, even though their majors are not economics. v. 1
Some people believe that taking basic economic courses may benefit any college students. However, I am against such statement and strongly believe that such enforcement only has drawbacks. To begin with, necessiating basic economics courses may amplify dissatisfaction among students. Even though knowledges in basic economics can be helpful in some degrees, but it will only cause negative effects once this policy is implemented. This is especially true in some area that is apart from such disciplines such as art major, music major. For example, a university in Seoul implemented similar policy, taking a financial classes as a prerequisite course, and conseqently students showed big concerns toward such policy. For students, they were dissatisfied with taking such courses regardless of their own will. This dissatisfaction would impede students' will to study. Thus, considering the morale of students, requiring students to take such courses will only negatively affect to the students. In addition, requiring students to take such courses may reduce proficiency on some fields. When students take subjects that is irrelevant to their fields, they lose chances to develop more profound knowledge on their field of study. Most students have to graduate within 8 semesters and the courses that they can enroll are limited. But when they take a course which teaches them ' basic' and ' irrelevant' information, the time spent on taking such courses becomes useless. For instance, one of my collegues regreted his freshman year and were very pessimistic toward required courses since he never learnt something either professional or useful for his future job. Many students found it unnecessary and skipped the classes often. If school did not implemented such courses, he would have spent time on more relevant courses or some curriculum that would motivate him to work hard. Therefore, taking any courses as mandatory would even disturb some students to develop profound knowledge. To sum, even though basic economic courses may seem to be beneficial to anyone, it needs serious consideration since it would only discourage students' motification and deprive students' opportunity to build up more deeper understanding toward their career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may benefit any college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, I am against such statement and
strongly
believe that such enforcement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
has drawbacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
necessiating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may amplify dissatisfaction among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Even though
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
can be helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degrees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects once this policy
is implemented
. This is
especially
true in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
area
that is
apart from such disciplines such as art major, music major.
For example
, a university in Seoul implemented similar policy, taking a financial
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "class", "classis"?
classes
as a prerequisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
conseqently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concerns toward such policy. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they
were dissatisfied
with taking such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
regardless of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
will. This dissatisfaction would impede
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; will to study.
Thus
, considering the morale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, requiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
negatively
affect to the students.

In addition
, requiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
proficiency on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take subjects
that is
irrelevant to their fields, they lose chances to develop more profound knowledge on their field of study. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
graduate within 8 semesters and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that they can enroll
are limited
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when they take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
which teaches them '
Possible spelling mistake found.
basic&
#039; and '
Possible spelling mistake found.
irrelevant&
#039; information, the time spent on taking such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
becomes useless.
For instance
, one of my
Possible spelling mistake found.
collegues
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "regretted", the past tense form of the verb 'regret'?
regreted
his freshman year and were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pessimistic toward required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
since he never
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
something either professional or useful for his future job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
found it unnecessary and skipped the classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. If school did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "implement"
implemented
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, he would have spent time on more relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
curriculum that would motivate him to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Therefore
, taking any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
as mandatory would even disturb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop profound knowledge.

To sum,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may seem to be beneficial to anyone, it needs serious consideration since it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
discourage
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
Possible spelling mistake found.
motification
and deprive
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; opportunity to build up
Use only "deeper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more deeper
understanding toward their career.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay College students should be required to take basic economics courses, even though their majors are not economics. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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