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Do you agree or dis agree? because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability of plan and organize. v.1

Do you agree or dis agree? because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability of plan and organize. v. 1
The question is whether because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability of plan and organize or not. In my vantage point, having a potential plan can assist youth to achieve their goal faster and a lot of other advantages will appear. . My arguments and reasons are listed below which will strengthen my point of view: First, in a simple language a plan prevents from confusing. Nowadays people wrestling with numerous problems due to complexity of their work, consequently having an appropriate program is able to guide them in the best way. Such a great plan creates a bed of peace and confident for young people who will be sure how to handle their daily schedule. Admittedly the existence a schedule stimulates them to broaden the scope of their activity. When youth are involved in variety of activities, their mind' s performance will rise up; also improving of their function on daily life will be obvious. Second, designing a program for life can lead youth to achieve a success peak in any ground. In fact a plan for managing life is the first step toward arriving the future' s goals. It is vital for everyone to know that what goal he wants to pursue in the future, otherwise going toward future will not only be vain, but also it will make young people bewildered. This simple plan for daily work is as a precious treasure, because it reinforces ability of organizing in young people. Third, despite of complications of life, everyone needs to entertainment and being joyful, subsequently it goes without saying that designing such a worthwhile plan can aid to youth to have some amusements with their friend beside these troubles, so from this way, their gone energy will return. As I have illustrated in above, planning a program for life is the most fundamental base of Everyone’s life. This useful plan will guide youth in the most valid routh and also amplify organized ability in them in the other parts.
The question is whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complex, it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have the ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
and organize or not. In my vantage point, having a potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
can assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to achieve their goal faster and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
other advantages will appear.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
My arguments and reasons
are listed
below which will strengthen my point of view:

First
, in a simple language a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
from confusing. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wrestling with numerous problems due to complexity of their work,
consequently
having an appropriate program is able to guide them in the best way. Such a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
creates a bed of peace and confident for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who will be sure how to handle their daily schedule.
Admittedly
the existence a schedule stimulates them to broaden the scope of their activity. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are involved
in variety of activities, their
Possible spelling mistake found.
mind&
#039; s performance will rise up;
also
improving of their function on daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be obvious.

Second, designing a program for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to achieve a success peak in any ground. In fact a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the
first
step toward arriving the
Possible spelling mistake found.
future&
#039; s goals. It is vital for everyone to know that what goal he wants to pursue in the future,
otherwise
going toward future will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be vain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bewildered. This simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for daily work is as a precious treasure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it reinforces ability of organizing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Third,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
complications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, everyone needs to entertainment and being joyful,
subsequently
it goes without saying that designing such a worthwhile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
can aid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amusements with their friend beside these troubles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
from this way, their gone energy will return.

As I have illustrated in above, planning a program for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the most fundamental base of

Everyone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
will guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
in the most valid
Possible spelling mistake found.
routh
and
also
amplify organized ability in them in the other parts.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you agree or dis agree? because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability of plan and organize. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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