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People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.9

People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. with this statement? v. 9
We live in a modern society where people put lot of efforts to lead happy life and successful career, where a person meet certain criteria by attaining good job. Undeniably, the academics plays a prominent role in finding a job. Whereas few other skills also as important as education, major one is appearance. In this context, I' m gong to discuss about the role of appearance in successful career. To begin with, It is evident, that we will be hired by assessing our abilities, skills and thought process. But, these days our appearance also plays major role in corporate offices, they are following certain dress codes based on their work culture. Because, our attire will speak louder than us, and most of the clients draw their first impression based on the ambience and the appearance of the employees in office premises. There is an old saying " First impression is the best impression" , which we can achieve only with our appearance. Another important factor is, there is phycology note on dressing sense, one' s confidence levels and attitude rely on their appearance. So, most of the corporate sectors pull in a thumb rule towards dress code and attire is the primary concern that one should follow. For instance, physiologists says, we can overcome our inferiority complex by sensible way of dressing and it will boost up our confidence levels on our big day either it is public speaking, interview or client meet etc. To sum up, though Intelligence, hard working plays a major role in individual success, person physical appearance can help their ability to succeed. People should find the golden mean between the importance of appearance and inner beauty and do not overestimate one aspect by ignoring another.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern society where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
put
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
efforts to lead happy life and successful career, where a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
certain criteria by attaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
Undeniably
, the academics plays a prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in finding a job. Whereas few other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
also
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as education, major one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
. In this context,
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m gong to
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
in successful career.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is evident, that we will
be hired
by assessing our abilities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, these days our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
also
plays major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in corporate offices, they are following certain dress codes based on their work culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, our attire will speak louder than us, and most of the clients draw their
first
impression based on the ambience and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
of the employees in office premises. There is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
First
impression is the best
Possible spelling mistake found.
impression&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
which we can achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with our appearance.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is, there is
Possible spelling mistake found.
phycology
note on dressing sense,
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s confidence levels and attitude rely on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, most of the corporate sectors pull in a thumb
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
towards dress code and attire is the primary concern that one should follow.
For instance
, physiologists says, we can overcome our inferiority complex by sensible way of dressing and it will boost up our confidence levels on our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
day either it is public speaking, interview or client
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
etc.

To sum up, though Intelligence,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
plays a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in individual success, person physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their ability to succeed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should find the golden mean between the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
and inner beauty and do not overestimate one aspect by ignoring another.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. with this statement? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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