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Some people believe that it is better to keep criminals in prison for longer, while others disagree and say that we must find a different solution. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that it is better to keep criminals in prison for longer, while others disagree and say that we must find a different solution. v. 2
Recently, it has been noticed that crime rate has abruptly increased in every country. In general, some people believe that to stop crime it is vital to keep criminals in prison for longer time. On the same time, some think that this is not the only solution. there should be some other methods to deal them. This essay will elaborate both concepts with my opinion at the end. On the one hand, some people think that offenders should get punishment for longer time. They believe that it is a good way of treating them. They give two reasons in favor of this argument. firstly, they think that this will be a good example for other people in the society. So that no one else will do the same crime. secondly, they think that when criminals do not get longer punishment they try to repeat the same crime and become more confident. Usually they get more experiences from other offenders. So it is very important that they should get long prisons. This will help remarkably reducing crime ratio in a society. On the other hand, some people suggest that there should be some other ways to address this issue. They insist their views with some reasons too. Firstly, most of the criminals are usually first time criminals. So they should be given second chance. it is good to penalize them for shorter time and then should be released with some warnings. It is better to observe them for some time. Secondly, prisons could be a training institute for these new offenders. This will create more anger and rage in them. It would be nice if they have some rehabilitation in their short punishment time. This way these effected people can be a good asset of society. In my opinion, both views have solid points. But I think it is more beneficial for society that prisoners should get shorter punishment. We can make them useful part of community by educating and improving their skills. This will give us a nice and productive society and will help in development of country.
Recently, it has
been noticed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has
abruptly
increased in every country.
In general
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
it is vital to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in prison for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. On the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that this is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods to deal them. This essay will elaborate both concepts with my opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that offenders should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They believe that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way of treating them. They give two reasons in favor of this argument.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that this will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
no one else will do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
they try to repeat the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and become more confident.
Usually
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experiences from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
offenders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
long prisons. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
remarkably
reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ratio in a society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to address this issue. They insist their views with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons too.
Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are
usually
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
second chance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to penalize them for shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and then should
be released
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
warnings. It is better to observe them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
, prisons could be a training institute for these new offenders. This will create more anger and rage in them. It would be nice if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rehabilitation in their short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This way these effected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
asset of society.

In my opinion, both views have solid points.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is more beneficial for society that prisoners should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them useful part of community by educating and improving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This will give us a nice and productive society and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in development of country.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to keep criminals in prison for longer, while others disagree and say that we must find a different solution. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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